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deckwreck

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Member Since 2003

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Monday Dec 15, 2003

Dec 14, 2003
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i was talking to a friend of mine tonight when she suddenly asked me what my definition of love is. i told her, and we talked about it for a while, and she kept asking more and more detailed questions about it.

i felt really really weird talking about love in an analytical way. not that i think its magic or anything like that, and i do believe there are certain things that add up to the feeling of love (an intense personal connection combined with enjoyment of ech other's company, a general sense of happiness when the person is around, and a physical attraction), but still... i'm more used to thinking about it in more abstract or emotional terms than analytical terms. i dunno, maybe that sounds really stupid, but it jsut weirded me out a little. i guess im a romantic.

she said that the analytical way is the way she usually thinks about love, and she envied me my emo-ness, at which point i started laughing really hard, but anyway. she also said that she thinks she confuses flattery with love, like if someone likes her, she automatially starts to like them as well. i told her that the first time i was in love it began just like that; i mean, i was 15, and i found out a girl liked me, so i said "ah what the hell." 3 years and my virginity later, we broke up after a long period of staying together by force of habit, even though we didn't even really like each other anymore, let alone love each other.

my friend also told me that she was always pretty unemotive about things like that, so i told her about how unemotive i was in my first one (which she probably remembers, she was around), and then how absolutely gushy i got around my last girlfriend (it was this much of a difference between my actions around my first and second girlfriends: my good friend and ex roommate actually told me how weird it was to see me hanging all over a girl all the time, because every time my first one tried to get clingy i pushed her away because it annoyed me), and how much it hurt when we broke up.

in the end, i told her that i'm a romantic, so i just believe she hasn't found the right guy yet and thats why she hasn't been all retarded over someone yet, and not to worry about it. after all, one of my roommates last year was a nihlist and he not only didnt believe in love, he went to great lengths to convince the rest of us that we were wrong. suddenly, he met a girl, and within two months they were engaged. the response to this news by myself and the rest of our friends: "BURN!"

anyway, the whole point of this post was not to wax philosophical about love, but i kinda started typing an explanation and it just went on from there. explanation for what, you might ask?

well, in the middle of this conversation, my friend provided the best description of kissing someone (specifically someone you are in love with) i have ever heard, hands down, and i wanted to share it with everyone:

"it caught my breath the first time and it was like it tugged on me every time"

*sapped*

god, i'm so fucking emo its disgusting.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
nevaar:
yeah im sooooo emo. Emo to the maximum capacity for possible emo-ness.
Dec 19, 2003
lucky105:
That's so beautiful. smile I'm glad that there are still romanticals out there.

Completely unrelated, but your penguin rocks. biggrin
Dec 21, 2003

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