deceptionoftime

well here i return once again to my little cornerof the net. reecently i got to thinking nota good sign. but anyway while on my mental wanderings i came to the realization that i realy nolonger have a home, it was like putting togethera puzzle befor i actualy saw it but there were signs along the way andi guess i just never payed much attention to them untill not the first was was my parents getting divorced yea thats been what five years now but it was the first piece in the puzzle i never thoguht of it that way. the next was my mother selling the house and moving into her apartment this one is a little more obvious since we had lived in that house since i was about 8-9 years old and this is where i lived with my family until i left for the military. the third one and most obvious was my father passing away last year just befor christmas but this is not hte final one though, the final piece didnt realy fall untill i was home on leave this past august. While i was home i just kept noticing and thinking about how everything in my little sphere of influence in michigan had changed or was changing on me. and it was this final event that made me realize that montrose and everything i used to consider home was realy no longer home. yes it is still the area where my family lives but to me it is nolonger home i still visit every so often but thats just it im visiting and not actualy returning home like i used to think. I wonder if i will ever havea home again who knows only the higher powers truely know at this point but i hope that one day they will chose to grant me even a small part of there insight and finda new home where i can be happy with my future family