deathtoyourmom

i'm home.

its still light out.

all this squinting makes me feel like i've been mole-fied.


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zee work is done without incident. i miss tightpants already, but she is sleeping in and having a ball. i made an appointment with the cardiovascular guy instead of the cardiologist. he was very nice on the phone, so i expect good things. i told him i was...
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my appointment was painless today.

one doctor down, about four more to go.

depending on how my insurance works, the next dude i would like to see is a cardiologist specializing in valve function and degeneration. this would be the easiest, because these guys just fucking hook you up to the ECG and go, "HELLS YEAH! LOOKIT THAT VALVE GO!! here are some drugs that...
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so i was again denied my medication.

i went in after work and the pharmacist said my cardiologist had called and said i had two refills, but not until i went in for an office visit.

i asked the asshole behind the counter why exactly he did not call me at work to tell me this, as i could have spoken to the cardiologist at...
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i need a distraction to ride this out. this will be long

i am lying in bed, under my down blanket, trying very hard to fend off a panic attack.

for those of you whom have not had the misfortune of experiencing a panic attack, this is what it's like:

mine usually start with pressure at the base of my head, and then both my...
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rachels was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING yet incredibly short.
i post more about it another time.

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everyone wish buckykatt666 good luck on his lecture at UMASS on tuesday. i know he's going to kick more ass than yuen biao.

my assessment on the new tori disc:

the design

while i enjoyed the multi-layered photographs (kevin macintosh/shona heath), the structure and layout of the case reminded me a little too much of a sophmore year mock-up. the booklet is glued to one side and the cd holders(made of cardstock) glued to the other. seams are visible, it seemed as a last minute simplistic fix. what...
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i picked up the new tori amos cd to celebrate. i hope its good, i was pretty dissapointed by the last couple albums.

i've equalized.
i feel a million times better.
i'm not my usual self yet, but getting there.

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saw a great show last night. i've developed an appreciation for uvprotection. i wrote to miss ehm about mahi mahi and how i wished i could see them play with football rabbit(ehm's band) back in providence and how one of my quientessential favorite bands is playing the...
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i am on a low.

it is a dystopic and unbearable feeling
likened to when cutting a section of meat
tearing at the final ligament which will not give
sawing tediously, the tencility at its fiercest
ceasing to break in order to prolong the tension

it is a chinese torture more aptly applied to thinking
the pressure for rapid results, pressure to maintain stability
pressure...
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