deathtoforls

Amidst the chaos I found myself today
somewhat less noble than when I departed
I pick up the phone and dial halfway
only to replace the receiver
In hazy confusion

I try, though success is not my forte
and days grow longer by the second
Words so meaningless escape my lips
and I still miss
Your eyes.

I'm rested. I should never go 2 days without sleep. I turn into a raving nutjob. Everything is frazzled right now, including me. While excited to leave Texas, terror is the feeling of the week.
I'm going exploring tonight. I'm going to take a friend and my car and drive until I find what I need to smile today. I'll probably end up at Starbucks, getting caffeine, and that's a cause to smile for. The coffee, not the 'Bucks. Just so happens they're the only 24 hour dealer in my area.
Things here are out of control. I'm not getting any help with the move from anyone, except the people that hired me, and it's a lonely place. I realize my family has stuff going on, and I refuse to subject friends to this, though inadvertantly I'm sure I have.
It will be good for me to leave here. Perhaps the time spent in my head alone will do some good, and I'll be more appreciative of how much I truly have. I'm a fortunate motherfucker.