deathtoforls

Tonight has been a good night. I've stayed productive, and other than my narcolepsy meds havent abused any substances. So far, so good. I've been helping my mom clean up her house, cause good gawd it was and still is fairly dirty, but coming along quickly. Nice to stay busy. Heard from a good friend and an ex co-worker. Both were very hopeful conversations, cathartic really. Emailed the dad friend to request some stuff from the house in Big Pine, and hopefully the request will be honored. Just sentimental crap that really has no value to anyone but me, so I'm keeping fingers crossed that this request is not considered crass. I figure with the house going to probate I had better have someone get the stuff out asap. I suppose this has been the best day so far since my dad died. I finally seem to be able to acknowledge his death sober, and upsetting as it is, there is really nothing I can do but cope. So, it's a night of obsessive cleaning, good music, and quality time with my mom, whom up to early this morning I couldnt really be around, much less talk to. Somedays I relish lonliness, perhaps because I don't feel that nauseating void that seperates me from the rest of the world. I should be cleaning right now, but had to take a break. I finally converted the almost broken dining table into a gigantic coffee table. It looks strange, but in a neat way. Back to busy work.....who knew scrubbing toilets and polishing floors could be so fun?