Saturday May 21, 2005

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Oh where to begin...The last few days have been insane. I've fallen victim to infatuation in a major way. Just when I thought I had succeeded in being the queen of detachment, and pushed all my warm fuzzy feelings under the rug, I find out the guy I'm interested in feels somewhat similarly to myself. Damn the feelings, it's been a looonnnnnggg time since I've felt this way. Spent two hours at work last night text messaging and then talking on the phone...it was frustratingly exhilirating. I'm not quite sure how to approach this -I have a crazy bug up my butt to take off and start over in a new city, run like hell to a place where I know no one and nothing and leave everything behind me, including Mr. Man. Better to keep from destroying what could be an awesome friendship than ruin it with fucking feelings. Still wondering what has come over me, I mean jesus, I just got divorced 5 months ago. Oh the trials and tribulations of liking people. My head and heart are actually on the same page with this for once. They both say what the fuck are you tripping for, life is short, quit putzing around and pussing out...and then the reality check comes...I'm penniless and have mega problems which no one deserves to be party to. I'm going to pull the usual act like I couldnt care less and do my damndest not to get attached. So here I sit, once again, obsessed with making the perfect compilation to fit my current state of mind. I find the balance, the perfect beginning that will melt into a cacophone of lush and heartfelt goodness and slip unnoticed into a happily melacholy goodbye, and wouldnt you know I can't decide on the opening and closing songs. I have now dedicated 2 days to this compilation...which I'm aptly titling "About A Boy". Why else would I obsess so thoroughly over what is, when its all said and done, music. There are many days I totally identify with John Cusacks character in High Fidelity, today is one of them surreal
HERE'S THE FINAL PLAYLIST; COMMENTS AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM/ SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE APPRECIATED
Piazza, New York Catcher Belle and Sebastian
Someday Soon The Doves
Stay Where You Are Ambulance, LTD
Boo Pinback
Electronic Renaissance Belle and Sebastian
Sixteen Military Wives The Decemberists
I Know The Beta Band
I Turn My Camera On Spoon
Concrete Seconds Pinback
I Dont Love Anyone Belle and Sebastian
5-4= Unity Pavement
There Goes the Fear The Doves
Dry the Rain The Beta Band
On the Bus Mall The Decemberists
There's Too Much Love Belle and Sebastian
Primitive Ambulance, LTD
If She Wants Me Belle and Sebastian
Young Urban Ambulance, LTD
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
deathtoforls:
damnit! in my exhausted haze I did my bold/italic listing ass backwards...oh well, I'm far too lazy to fix it mad
bluevalentine:
Id love coffee and booze and conversation and girl talk and I was going to suggest it.

And thanks for posting the playlist. I was going to ask about that too as I too make mixes for people I love. It's easier than looking at Hallmark cards and much much easier than having to actually come out and say "I love you".

I once made a mix for someone I was courting. 24 songs, 2 disks. Every hour, on the hour, I'd put another song on the playlist. Sort of " a day in the life" thing. That night, I set my alarm for every hour and yes, got up, went to my computer, found the song that described my headspace, and added it to the list.

I made a mix for a friend (same guy I mentioned before) who just had a birthday on the 12th of this month but I have yet to be brave enough to give it to him. *sigh*

So, yes. Let me know when youre free and we'll meet up. What part of town are you in? And my treat since I just got the money from the sale of my mom's house. Take advantage of my riches while it lasts.

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