deathtoforls

its decided...the spring rolls at Wanfu Too do not compare to Pho Oanh's, but being as theyre cheaper and open until 2am, my diet is about to consist of nothing but spring rolls. I am so tired of feeling hungry every 8 or so hours. Used to be, in my eating disorder glory days, I could go for 3 or 4 days on water alone, this has changed in the last year or so. Eating is a necessary evil, like other bodily functions I refrain from mentioning....and it's a real pain in the ass! I think I need to revert back to hunter-gatherer days, where I'd first have to stalk my food for 8 hours before indulging in it. My what a sense of accomplishment I'd feel going toe to toe with an angry spring roll before devouring it in three bites! Last night was a wash if there ever was one. I slept through both of my nights off, which gargles balls as I'm working the next 5 nights....no live music for me. Apparently my circadian rhythms don't take orders well, and always seem to defeat me. On the upside however, I am no longer quite so sleep deprived, which means my attitude is vastly improved, so at least the people around me will no longer have to suffer. On the dating scene, I've now missed 2 calls from the boy I was infatuated with during 5 years of marriage...and that really bites. He is perhaps the last perfect man...hot, polite, chivalrous, intelligent, well-read, artistic, a kinky deviant in the sack, and into all my hobbies...music, hiking, and art. Damndamndamn...why does my cell phone betray me??? I mistakenly thought getting a Blackberry was a swell idea, but no, its a waste of money. Money I don't have. Right now I'm listening to my lil bro try to get outta going to school, wow, he needs to take some lessons from me. Apparently my mom has the hand in this one...and damnit, she's still trying to monitor MY internet usage. I'm a grown fucking woman...yet she slips by and glances at the screen making offhand comments like "Oh, is that a picture of you?" Hehe, glad I didnt choose the nude ones, or I'd never hear the end of the psycho serial killer talk. Wow, privacy is a concept that I no longer know of. Since the divorce, I have slept on many a sofa and stayed with many a family member and DAMN, I miss my privacy. I'm starting to see why having 12 pets is a mistake, because NO ONE will rent to me...unless I want to live in the boonies or a really bad neighborhood. A friend of mine recently said he'd take my two foster kittens, but as he may be in DC this summer for an internship, I'm attempting to line up additional homes, should his offer fall through. So, If I am technologically cognizant enough, at the end of this post and on my pics page there will be kitty pics for anyone who may be interested in adopting them. They are two little boys, and I will provide all of their shots, neutering, and two 3 packs of Revolution to whomever might be interested. They have to go together!!! And, as if that wasnt enough criteria to be met, they must be indoors only. Damn me and my vet tech ways....I'm starting to think they will become mine just like all the other "foster" kiddos I've taken on. And for your reading enjoyment, check out the nauseating article link on fake trees in the cell phone society revolution....apparently this technology takes precedence over eliminating world hunger, because without cell phones we are nothing but monkeys in a tree, albeit a fake plastic one.
Praise the Mighty Cell Phone

sooo...I'm such an ass. This morning I find myself dabbling in my old bad habits, my eyes puffy, bloodshot, and bleary. Why must I give two shits about what I weigh? Does it really fucking matter? Of course not. If I can't fucking accept myself the way I am then jesus, I have a major friggin problem. It's not even about weight so much as control...damnit, and I was doing so well. So much for trying. Lately I find myself all consumed with the most petty inane bullshit. I need a change...