Gone and forgotten Apr 11, 2005 9:04 am
Mood: energetic
Broke up with detachment man last night...jesus, what a mistake I made in ever romanticizing a relationship with such a self absorbed little boy! When the list of things you can't talk about becomes longer than the list of cans...it's time to get the hell out. Still planning to go on our road trip, which should be interesting to say the least, but otherwise we are OVER. The relief that followed that discussion is, pardon the raunch, akin to that felt when you've held your pee in hopes of a filling station for over 100 miles only to squat in the insect infested grasses in pre dawn anxiously awaiting a ticket from some donut lovin bubba with a badge. The plan: to remain friends, the reality: probably not gonna happen. So once again I must resume my quest for someone willing to fuck, be friends, occasionally cuddle, but leave the affair without a label. Hmmm...possible I may find this kind of bloke, but not likely. The ones that want to fuck already have friends, the ones that have friends don't feel like cuddling, and the rest seem to have an insane desire to strive for a committed and monogamous relationship. Why am I more of a guy than the ones I'm surrounded by??? You would think any man would find this arrangement ideal, though I have yet to meet one that is in agreement. Today is my last day off before returning to the "mines" and instead of enjoying the beautiful weather I find myself plunking away at this damn blog...perhaps to feel better about never writing anymore. I have dozens of blank books just waiting to be written in, bought specifically for that purpose, but this is somehow easier. This writing is not as tied to me, because I do not posess a physical copy to read over at a later time and belittle my thoughts and actions with...I leave the belittling to you, and hope you can be forgiving yet honest. Perhaps I will enjoy the day...perfect for swimming, lazing about, and possibly hitting every pawn shop in town in hopes of recovering my life, I mean, my digital camera. And for the thieves: I am still planning on ripping your balls off when I find you, so enjoy them while they last.
Mood: energetic
Broke up with detachment man last night...jesus, what a mistake I made in ever romanticizing a relationship with such a self absorbed little boy! When the list of things you can't talk about becomes longer than the list of cans...it's time to get the hell out. Still planning to go on our road trip, which should be interesting to say the least, but otherwise we are OVER. The relief that followed that discussion is, pardon the raunch, akin to that felt when you've held your pee in hopes of a filling station for over 100 miles only to squat in the insect infested grasses in pre dawn anxiously awaiting a ticket from some donut lovin bubba with a badge. The plan: to remain friends, the reality: probably not gonna happen. So once again I must resume my quest for someone willing to fuck, be friends, occasionally cuddle, but leave the affair without a label. Hmmm...possible I may find this kind of bloke, but not likely. The ones that want to fuck already have friends, the ones that have friends don't feel like cuddling, and the rest seem to have an insane desire to strive for a committed and monogamous relationship. Why am I more of a guy than the ones I'm surrounded by??? You would think any man would find this arrangement ideal, though I have yet to meet one that is in agreement. Today is my last day off before returning to the "mines" and instead of enjoying the beautiful weather I find myself plunking away at this damn blog...perhaps to feel better about never writing anymore. I have dozens of blank books just waiting to be written in, bought specifically for that purpose, but this is somehow easier. This writing is not as tied to me, because I do not posess a physical copy to read over at a later time and belittle my thoughts and actions with...I leave the belittling to you, and hope you can be forgiving yet honest. Perhaps I will enjoy the day...perfect for swimming, lazing about, and possibly hitting every pawn shop in town in hopes of recovering my life, I mean, my digital camera. And for the thieves: I am still planning on ripping your balls off when I find you, so enjoy them while they last.