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deathtoforls

Washington, D.C.

Member Since 2005

Followers 156 Following 97

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Monday Apr 11, 2005

Apr 11, 2005
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The forgotten phone call Apr 7, 2005 9:52 am
Mood: sleepy
Finally had my car window replaced yesterday and I find myself wondering, how is it that a small piece of glass could run $145 installed? Highway robbery in my opinion. The co-worker "boyfriend" and I were supposed to hang out last night, but I never recieved a call, so screw him. Seems the longer were "together" the less enthusiastic I become in matters of monogamy. 3 months into it and I'm already finding myself insecure, distrusting, and paranoid. 11 am today marks the 48th hour I've been awake, and I'm starting to have visual and auditory disturbances, as well as significant mental compromise! If I can just make it through my 10 hour shift tonight, then I can rest, and rest I shall. Had an extraordinarily interesting night...decided to get coffee with a man whose dry wit and exceedingly disturbing smart ass sarcasm paralells the likes of a George Carlin/Bill Maher concoction. Not only was the conversation stimulating and entertaining, but the coffee was decent. Needless to say, the co-worker was the furthest thing from my mind when the sun rose. A question that keeps reverberating through my head lately (regarding the co-w)...why must men play games of intense intrigue and follow it with disinterest? It's as stupid as the 2 day telephone call rule. As a one time event, I could understand, but this bipolar cycling, on off on off, causes me to vomit in my mouth a little. But I'm not bitter, not at all, just a lot. I suppose I bring it on myself by attracting these half-hearted devotees of so called monogomy. Monogomy is a fascist concept, a facade of normalcy that sends the truest heart searching for temptation. Perhaps it's a "grass is always greener" or "slippery slope" sort of affair...my only observation is the most sordid of events seem to occur when an individuals' free will is restricted. I suppose the best description of my present mood could be summed up by The Minus Five's honest confessional "I'm Not Bitter." My fondness for all things unattainable and censored has finally bitten me in the butt, though I have yet to learn anything from my gargantuan heap of mistakes and maladies. Ah, and now it's time to hop in the shower and race to work...
puke

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