For the majority of my life I've felt a much stronger sense of connectedness to animals than I have to humans. It's always immensely more rewarding to love without fear, which comes naturally with animals. There is rarely the sense of rejection that is so commonplace in human relationships.
My life long loves are all ones that involve animals. The major downside to this is the fact that their lifespan is so much shorter than ours. Once again, I've found myself saying goodbye long before I am ready to; this time with Gollum, my one-eyed, dwarf oriental shorthair once presumed to have FIP, an almost always fatal condition.
Gollum was a cat I adopted because his owners couldn't handle his chronic diarrhea and ever growing vet bills. I was his technician over numerous lengthy hospital stays, and the day they brought him in and I had to place his euthanasia catheter I found myself unable to do so, crying as I shaved his leg. His owners surrendered him to me, and though I thought he might only make it another week or two, I had hope he would overcome his chronic illness. Now, two years later, it looks as if it is finally time to let go.
It has been little over two months since Luna passed, and once again I find myself 1700 miles away, wishing I could be there to say goodbye. Life without attachment is a life not worth living, though right now the pain is so great I want to rip my heart from my chest and discard it forever.
There comes a point where caring is heartbreaking. No matter how many goodbyes I make, they never get easier.
My life long loves are all ones that involve animals. The major downside to this is the fact that their lifespan is so much shorter than ours. Once again, I've found myself saying goodbye long before I am ready to; this time with Gollum, my one-eyed, dwarf oriental shorthair once presumed to have FIP, an almost always fatal condition.
Gollum was a cat I adopted because his owners couldn't handle his chronic diarrhea and ever growing vet bills. I was his technician over numerous lengthy hospital stays, and the day they brought him in and I had to place his euthanasia catheter I found myself unable to do so, crying as I shaved his leg. His owners surrendered him to me, and though I thought he might only make it another week or two, I had hope he would overcome his chronic illness. Now, two years later, it looks as if it is finally time to let go.
It has been little over two months since Luna passed, and once again I find myself 1700 miles away, wishing I could be there to say goodbye. Life without attachment is a life not worth living, though right now the pain is so great I want to rip my heart from my chest and discard it forever.
There comes a point where caring is heartbreaking. No matter how many goodbyes I make, they never get easier.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Putty will NEVER die! He's gonna be the bionic wiener. Which will be ironic because I have a bionic wiener...
So sorry for you loss(es). The hurt is so much greater because you are their guardian and protector and god to them... they look at you with those innocent, yearning and confused eyes as if to say "can't you fix me?"
I got those when Putty was paralyzed from the spinal rupture and it kicked the wind out of me every time.
Hang in there kid. There is an animal heaven.