well i hope you all enjoyed your holidays and new years! i am sort of glad the madness is all over. though now all the decorations have to be brought down and put them away for next year, ugh. i would say i had a pretty good New Years Eve and Day. actually behaved myself NYE and didnt drink too much and went home early so i can get up early for my cities annual Mummers Parade that i participate in. 13 years in! i will try to find some photos for you of me this year but to be honest for some reason i dont think i am in many, dont know why. oh well. it was a good day, i actually was the first of my friends up and ready to go. down some Pepto and let the drinkin begin. its always fun to march to City Hall and see all locals and tourists that enjoy the Mummers! and of course for the mummers themselves its a day filled of booze, food and dancing! and i would say i behaved myself again. i did not want to get too loaded too early, thats never fun. i hung with friends that dont go out but love hanging with the ones that do! everyone gets loaded! i visited some family inbetween the day, tried to eat but usually i only pick at things. and then i get a call...
a girlfriend of mine, not literally, just someone i knew for quite sometime actually came to the parade this year. you dont know happy i got when i got the message on my phone! ive known her through a friend who dated her bestfriend. shes originally from Colorado but moved out here when her mom passed, shes from Philly. me and her always got along. shes fun, stoner chick, pretty much like me, just a friendly fun goofy person. so yes, shes always been a crush of mine, hehe. we've been through some stuff together. i was there for her with her mom and then shortly after that i had to deal with my father having a stroke and that was rough, she was there for me. i think she knew i somewhat liked her. my best friend was dating her friend from Colorado who also moved here for a short period of time so we'd always travel together to hang out. pretty much bestfriends with bestfriends. and one Valentine's i thought i'd be nice if i got her something, a nice card, i drew a pretty rose[in my head to me, that'll last forever!]. she appreciated it of course but later when i got home i had email from her pretty much saying she wants to remain friends since we are good friends and experienced some situations that we helped each other. of course it was a blow to me, but i'd rather there be no conflict with our friendship cause shes a great friend. but anyway, but i got all butterflied up cause this time around who knows what might have happened and i kept myself open and flirtish. it was fun. she brought her little sister with her to experience the parade. shes a trip! just like her sister! i had a blast with them. but yeah so i dont know how to feel, even when nothing happened, it just brought back memories and of course, the crush. towards the end of the night, the drunkness sets in i was just relaxing finally sitting for once all day talkin to one of my best friends, which is gay, and me him and this girl we were a trio back in those times. i asked if he saw her, yadda yadda, and he knew i liked her so i said it and he was saying "mike, just go for it". but i always knew she liked someone else in my group of friends. but his words were inspiring cause i seem to forget to act on things and then i miss out. i have her cell phone number now but she does live quite a distance from me and i have no car. i am just wondering even to ask her out. not even a date just as friends, ya know, and then who knows.. i dont want to make it weird and make our friendship weird... i dunno.. it has been on my mind that i am sorting to feel the loneliness again so this kinda interacts, ya know..
so the night was ending. a friend of mine which went out in the parade was loaded and had his share of memories. he started crying next to me. he just lost his brother to suicide, he was gay. i am not homophobic at all. he carried on his memory. he sewed a picture of him onto his umbrella[that we dance with, with our costumes]. i really felt bad for him. i comforted him and tried to call him down. so it was all over, we all dwindled down and things calmed down. i am usually always the last soldier at any party! next.. i remember bangin on my door cause my keys where in my stockings and couldnt find them haha and someone had to let me in, and i woke up, half dressed, sprawled out on the couch.
so now i am just left with alot of thoughts.. i really want this year to pick my life up. it needs to. back to my diet. back to the gym[even if its freezing cause i ride a bike]. get out of my current job. would love to get out of my parents house but thats somethin that'll take time. back to my vocals and i didnt join the music school yet, there was a lot going on in the past 2 weeks, i plan on this weekend. i wanted the holidays to be over with all partying, get my head straight... so i think thats all i got to spew out for now..heres some BLS cause it fits my mood
a girlfriend of mine, not literally, just someone i knew for quite sometime actually came to the parade this year. you dont know happy i got when i got the message on my phone! ive known her through a friend who dated her bestfriend. shes originally from Colorado but moved out here when her mom passed, shes from Philly. me and her always got along. shes fun, stoner chick, pretty much like me, just a friendly fun goofy person. so yes, shes always been a crush of mine, hehe. we've been through some stuff together. i was there for her with her mom and then shortly after that i had to deal with my father having a stroke and that was rough, she was there for me. i think she knew i somewhat liked her. my best friend was dating her friend from Colorado who also moved here for a short period of time so we'd always travel together to hang out. pretty much bestfriends with bestfriends. and one Valentine's i thought i'd be nice if i got her something, a nice card, i drew a pretty rose[in my head to me, that'll last forever!]. she appreciated it of course but later when i got home i had email from her pretty much saying she wants to remain friends since we are good friends and experienced some situations that we helped each other. of course it was a blow to me, but i'd rather there be no conflict with our friendship cause shes a great friend. but anyway, but i got all butterflied up cause this time around who knows what might have happened and i kept myself open and flirtish. it was fun. she brought her little sister with her to experience the parade. shes a trip! just like her sister! i had a blast with them. but yeah so i dont know how to feel, even when nothing happened, it just brought back memories and of course, the crush. towards the end of the night, the drunkness sets in i was just relaxing finally sitting for once all day talkin to one of my best friends, which is gay, and me him and this girl we were a trio back in those times. i asked if he saw her, yadda yadda, and he knew i liked her so i said it and he was saying "mike, just go for it". but i always knew she liked someone else in my group of friends. but his words were inspiring cause i seem to forget to act on things and then i miss out. i have her cell phone number now but she does live quite a distance from me and i have no car. i am just wondering even to ask her out. not even a date just as friends, ya know, and then who knows.. i dont want to make it weird and make our friendship weird... i dunno.. it has been on my mind that i am sorting to feel the loneliness again so this kinda interacts, ya know..
so the night was ending. a friend of mine which went out in the parade was loaded and had his share of memories. he started crying next to me. he just lost his brother to suicide, he was gay. i am not homophobic at all. he carried on his memory. he sewed a picture of him onto his umbrella[that we dance with, with our costumes]. i really felt bad for him. i comforted him and tried to call him down. so it was all over, we all dwindled down and things calmed down. i am usually always the last soldier at any party! next.. i remember bangin on my door cause my keys where in my stockings and couldnt find them haha and someone had to let me in, and i woke up, half dressed, sprawled out on the couch.
so now i am just left with alot of thoughts.. i really want this year to pick my life up. it needs to. back to my diet. back to the gym[even if its freezing cause i ride a bike]. get out of my current job. would love to get out of my parents house but thats somethin that'll take time. back to my vocals and i didnt join the music school yet, there was a lot going on in the past 2 weeks, i plan on this weekend. i wanted the holidays to be over with all partying, get my head straight... so i think thats all i got to spew out for now..heres some BLS cause it fits my mood