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dearlycorrupted

ilwaco, WA

Member Since 2005

Followers 44 Following 36

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Tuesday Feb 21, 2006

Feb 21, 2006
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i spent the other day rereading one of my older blogs and was mesmerised by how happy i seemed. decidedly more interesting than i am now, as well. if there was complaining, it was to provide comic relief. i was even less neurotic than i am these days. reading my 'ay' poem, i spent a full five minutes laughing until i cried. i've no idea why, but matt seemed perturbed. probably because i've never laughed that way in front of him before, i don't think. he later on wondered should he have pork chops, but he didn't know what he'd eat them with, to which i responded eloquently, "you can eat them with your BUTT" and then laughed for another five minutes. whatever got into me didn't last, though. so instead i continued reading my current book on zen buddhism and ended up going to willow house at 10:30 to drink hot chocolate.

i should be spending this time doing my bibliography assignment, but god loves a procrastinator, even more than a masturbator, and i already masturbated today.
lies. i haven't masturbated for a couple of days.

let it be known that on the seventeenth of this month february, 2006 c.e., i officially lost my homosexual virginity, and made love to a girl for the very first time. it was an astounding, invigorating, and awe-inspiring event. and it turned me on to the point of madness. i've no idea exactly how this is going to affect me in the long term, but i had sex with my boyfriend twice the next day (and it would have been three times, had i not just consumed five smirnoff ices and promptly passed out.)

my boyfriend, by the way, considers talking to anybody 'making a friend'. according to him, we made a lot of friends saturday night at the comedy show. i do remember getting hit on by some guy named dave, and performing the 'milk, milk, lemonade' chant for him, because henry phillips had done it earlier in a song and dave didn't know what the bejeezus he was talking about.

next week, actually six days from now, next monday, i am flying to kansas with matt, to meet his family and watch his best friends get married. (one marriage, two best friends. they're marrying each other.) i would be scared shitless if i spent more time dwelling on it, but since i'm not planning to until the day of the flight, when i am sure i will abruptly realise that this is my boyfriend's mommy and i'd better start performing my best or she'll KICK MY ASS. i feel as though i've been better lately, in a way. but then again, i'm full of shit.

why is it that any form of religion captures you entirely while you're reading about it, but then loses you the second you close the book? i'm a lonely atheist, but my skepticism always gets the better of me. i wish i was dumb enough to believe in god.

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