the truth is everything is more or less all right. i am devouring anne rice books like a fiend. i've lost four pounds (placing me at 126 for now, hurrah, hurrah.) i've met and had sex with a young gentleman who is entirely not my type- he wears abercrombie board shorts, is clean cut, etcetera. a vacation pastime. we made it in the woods last...
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ziricote:
you stink as a reporter, but your life seems interesting at the moment 
giveit35percent:
Congrats on the outdoor sex, sucks about the tan, they bother me too.
i wrote a poem the other day, but it is of little importance here.
at the lake:
"emotion sickness; addicts with no heroin. i think all the rest of my life will be a dedication to beauty, surrealism, and beauty through surrealism. i am at the lake. silverchair fills my ears. there is a woman with a red mullet, and blue and black dragonflies, and...
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at the lake:
"emotion sickness; addicts with no heroin. i think all the rest of my life will be a dedication to beauty, surrealism, and beauty through surrealism. i am at the lake. silverchair fills my ears. there is a woman with a red mullet, and blue and black dragonflies, and...
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corporatespy:
Wow, that brought up so much of the anxt and fear that I couldn't even express properly myself.
To wake one day, realizing that you've almost been asleep, lulled into a life of a 2-car garadge, a job you hate and trying to escape through eating or drinking. Material posessions like a nuse around your throat. To waste life away like that is more frightening than anything found on the darkest night.
Though it's only somewhat related, just thought i'd pay for a poem with a poem. This is something I wrote after my last relationship.
If I ever become lost in life, call a hitman:
"I must roam free, my mind is not a large enough place to be. But to be trapped in the thoughts of a narrow mind struggling desperately for an exit I cannot find. How did they trap me, my seditive now wearing thin, how did I get here? where have I been? Waking slowly to a world that seems so unreal a world where everything is false, i'm told how to feel.is love an illusion? a little slight of hand? a year has gone by like slipping grains of sand. You, my captor, my stalker, my keeper. get away, you're my grim reaper Where has life gone? Those around me carry on The fat of society still on their lips, the blood of the innocent staining their pressed shirts straight to the soul. Can your heart be drycleaned to remove the marks? Can your life be laundered? I come from darkness to sit in the light, this must be pondered."
[Edited on Jul 25, 2005 2:13PM]
[Edited on Jul 25, 2005 2:15PM]
To wake one day, realizing that you've almost been asleep, lulled into a life of a 2-car garadge, a job you hate and trying to escape through eating or drinking. Material posessions like a nuse around your throat. To waste life away like that is more frightening than anything found on the darkest night.
Though it's only somewhat related, just thought i'd pay for a poem with a poem. This is something I wrote after my last relationship.
If I ever become lost in life, call a hitman:
"I must roam free, my mind is not a large enough place to be. But to be trapped in the thoughts of a narrow mind struggling desperately for an exit I cannot find. How did they trap me, my seditive now wearing thin, how did I get here? where have I been? Waking slowly to a world that seems so unreal a world where everything is false, i'm told how to feel.is love an illusion? a little slight of hand? a year has gone by like slipping grains of sand. You, my captor, my stalker, my keeper. get away, you're my grim reaper Where has life gone? Those around me carry on The fat of society still on their lips, the blood of the innocent staining their pressed shirts straight to the soul. Can your heart be drycleaned to remove the marks? Can your life be laundered? I come from darkness to sit in the light, this must be pondered."
[Edited on Jul 25, 2005 2:13PM]
[Edited on Jul 25, 2005 2:15PM]
gagefreedom:
So.... having any fun?
"december, i am in montana. there are trees, grass, and bodies of water, men in flannel and women in SUVs, all of it surrounded by a bitter loneliness. i write to still the madness- but why still the madness? it's what drives me after all. in the lamplight my scars are shiny and obscene. none of this is coming out right. i suspect my circuits...
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corporatespy:
Sartre states that life must have a rational basis, but to seek it was "futile passion." Perhaps to seek surrealism and absurdity is a futile passion as well.
"life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans" - John Lennon
"life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans" - John Lennon
montana is a welcome respite, but things aren't going well. i'm eating more than i want to (i had crackers and peanut butter today, a salad with dressing and croutons and ice cream.) i will probably not see rex while i am here, which means another year is going to pass without me coming within reaching distance of him. and everything feels lonely...
i'd go...
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i'd go...
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so, i'm off to montana for 10 days.
whether or not i will see rex is still up in the air. he's broke, and i'm broke, and god fucking dammit even when i travel 2000 miles we're still 600 miles away from each other.
it's 7:30, and only 88 degrees... bordering on 89. for the moment.
i dreamed all last night that i was at...
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whether or not i will see rex is still up in the air. he's broke, and i'm broke, and god fucking dammit even when i travel 2000 miles we're still 600 miles away from each other.
it's 7:30, and only 88 degrees... bordering on 89. for the moment.
i dreamed all last night that i was at...
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gagefreedom:
Have a safe trip!
ziricote:
enjoy yourself!
so this person. they're calling from an 800 number. they've called my house twice in ten minutes and i'm wondering what all the fuss is about. i haven't the faintest fucking idea who they could be, which is probably the only reason i'm not answering the phone. if it's that important, why not leave a message? perhaps they're a telemarketer, and, knowing that leaving a...
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onie:
yeah.. i plan on piercing them.. thanks
gagefreedom:
Heh.... reading your daily journal makes my life seem boring 
note to everyone who gave a shit: all crises were averted when i tore my room apart and found my wallet shoved under my bed. methinks it got there when i hurled my backpack onto the floor. this, as you can imagine, averts all sorts of problems for me.
monsoon season is coming, apparently. the cum-splatter of rain we had the other night is only...
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monsoon season is coming, apparently. the cum-splatter of rain we had the other night is only...
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so i've lost my fucking wallet.
i didn't realise what a drastic situation this was until i realised that everything i need to survive is in that wallet. not money (i had about $6 in there) but my driver's license, social security card, and check card especially.
especially since i have a million things debiting off that card. god dammit.
*goes to blow own brains...
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i didn't realise what a drastic situation this was until i realised that everything i need to survive is in that wallet. not money (i had about $6 in there) but my driver's license, social security card, and check card especially.
especially since i have a million things debiting off that card. god dammit.
*goes to blow own brains...
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giveit35percent:
that fucking sucks. I've been there before too, it's so incredibly stressful when you have to cancel your credit and debit cards, get a new ID and SS card. I do not envy you right now.
blackcasket:
As long as you got the time to go in, getting a new driver's license isn't too bad. They didn't even need anything when I went in to get mine a little while back, since they got your pic on file and all. Try not to sweat it too much. Just take care of your business as you can and move on. Stressing don't help... but then again, venting does. Vent, baby.
written 30 january, 2004:
"we were given an essay in english class today to read as an example of description. this is how it went (sans capitalisation):
'the big one' by rebecca mutch
with a final crack of a bat and a lofting fly ball, baseball ended for the year. the last swirl of water gurgling down the drain of the community pool marked the...
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"we were given an essay in english class today to read as an example of description. this is how it went (sans capitalisation):
'the big one' by rebecca mutch
with a final crack of a bat and a lofting fly ball, baseball ended for the year. the last swirl of water gurgling down the drain of the community pool marked the...
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chetbroke:
so you live in avondale as well.
i didnt think anyone else from sg lived in avondale.
i didnt think anyone else from sg lived in avondale.
note: wal-mart brand iced sugar cookies taste exactly like lofthouse brand iced sugar cookies and they are half the price. for the sake of economy, i suggest you purchase some now. the pink ones.
my mother has long since been worried that i'll become an alcoholic. she's 'in recovery' herself, has been for about eight years now. i believe this preoccupation started when she read...
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my mother has long since been worried that i'll become an alcoholic. she's 'in recovery' herself, has been for about eight years now. i believe this preoccupation started when she read...
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the sky is black with clouds and it's still 115 degrees outside.
giveit35percent:
Yeah Arizona weather fucking sucks doesn't it? Happy belated bday by the way.
mike_hawk:
thats arizona weather... only place i have been to where the temp. can change 40 degrees in a matter of hours nothing like going from 115 to 75 degrees, if you haven't seen this yet just give it time its fucking weird
as far as life is concerned...
there is a large, sickly purple bruise on my hip. it does not hurt. i wonder how it got there.
my body is reeling with the pleasant aftereffects of good sex after a long dry spell. (in all truth it has not been super dry. but since i had sex twice with a queer and once with rob, who...
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there is a large, sickly purple bruise on my hip. it does not hurt. i wonder how it got there.
my body is reeling with the pleasant aftereffects of good sex after a long dry spell. (in all truth it has not been super dry. but since i had sex twice with a queer and once with rob, who...
Read More