deadmanshand

The fucking freeview has broken, inly 5 tv channels is just fucking shit!!

la...anyway...i am going to muse with some top 5 lists.....

Top 5 Crisps
1. Bullshot- Burts Handcooked crisps, track them down!!beef, tabasco and vodka!!yum!!
2. Beef and Mustard- Brannigans, an ageing classic, increasingly rare...well worth the effort tho
3. Roysters T-Bone Steak Bubble Chips...he good shit, the preserve of dodgy newsagents and vending machines everywhere
4. Flaming Hot/Beef Moster Munch, couldnt choose!
5. Roast Chicken and Thyme- Walkers Sensations

Top 5 Moments in my masturbating life
1. Discovering my dads filing cabinet full of dodgy DVD's
2. Discovering i was big enough to go to a sex shop
3. Seeing Bella Donna take 2 in the Butt, fucking impressive, i love human endeavours
4. Finding a girlfreind who doesnt mind my porn collection
5. Finding a tube of KY and discovering slippy goodness

Top 5 Cool Things I own
1. Light Saber, Master FX lifesize replica
2. Resident Evil 4 GameCube controller, pisses over the ps2 version
3. Guitar Hero
4. Emo porn
5. Scalectrix

Top 5 Xmas Presents
1. Tattoos
2. Drum Kits
3. Scalectrix
4. NES
5. Lesbians???? hopefully

Top 5 Bad Ass Quotes
1. 'If rock and roll is in fact the devils music, and we know this to be the absolute truth, least he ucking Jams!!"
2. Did you know you can make napalm from orange juice and petrol?
3. Crack....Only for an amercan would cocaine not be good enough
4. I've had it woth these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane
5. Lets get out there and twat it!

there you go, a little insight to the man they called Steve...or deadmanshand....