Greeting faithful followers, loyal friends and random stumble uponers...
I come to you not as DeadGuitarist today, but as an amalgamation of fictional characters who best describe me, as requested by our esteemed staff members, @rambo and @missy, for this week's blog homework.
Before I dive into my innermost psyche and let you into a place where few have boldly gone before (or even been allowed to have a glimpse of), let me enlighten you with a few characters with whom I considered and rejected.
Deadpool
Because he's a smart ass and the prince of the one liners and zingers. But I'm not nearly as badass as him.
Punisher
Because he's military trained and does not stand for the injustice of justice. But I'm not one to become a vigilante to right wrongs.
Nigel Tufnel (This is Spinal Tap)
Though I love his lines ("This one goes to 11." "It's a Mach piece... I call it 'Lick My Love Pump.'"), I'm just not dimwitted.
Haymitch (Hunger Games)
I've got the mentoring and don't give a fuck part down. And while I enjoy potent potables as much as the next person, I don't enjoy them to the extent that Haymitch does. Plus, I have no reason to stay permanently comfortably numb. I'm also not bitter.
Dr. "Bones" McCoy
He's got the best lines ("Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a - insert profession here.") and is a smart ass. But I have zero medical knowledge beyond CPR and first aid.
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So here are the 3 (+2) fictional characters that I feel most describe me. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be 3, but, you know me, I can't stick to the rules and only choose the required number.
Starting at top right and moving clockwise... Why? because these are the first three characters I thought of...
Crash Davis (Bull Durham)
In real life, I've mentored a lot of people: weapons crew members, software testers... I tutored a girl through high school algebra after I graduated from college, trained people in various jobs. Crash Davis mentors a young pitcher, Ebie Calvin "Nuke" Laloosh, who has a million dollar arm but a five cent head into a better pitcher who makes it to the Show. He's intelligent, caring, and loves baseball. Plus, I have a similar chuckle to Crash's (see the locker room scene when Nuke is packing his things before going to the show).
Obi Wan Kenobi
I identify better with older Obi Wan, than his younger self, but I'm not one to discriminate. Obi Wan Kenobi was also a mentor, mentoring both Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker. He wasn't always successful, and neither have I been as a mentor. As he grew older he became less the swashbuckler and more stealthy and unassuming. I'm kind of like that. I used to be rather fearless, but as age has crept upon me, I've taken fewer physical risks and opted to think through things more before acting. In addition, he's a master at Jedi mind tricks, which he learned from Qui Gon. I've actually been successful with Jedi Mind Tricks on occasion.
Story Time!
When I was working as a Quality Assurance Manager at a major casino gaming manufacturing company, I was talking with someone in my office. It wasn't necessarily a private conversation so the door to my office was open. Someone stopped at my door and stood there. I casually said, "This doesn't concern you. You can go." He promptly turned and left without a word.
Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon movies)
He's more badass than I ever was or will be, but, he's a marksman, which I achieved at least once while I was in the USAF. And while he doesn't give a fuck, he does when it comes to his family, friends, his job and his country (he was in the military prior to becoming a cop). He'll do anything to protect his family and friends. So will I. I don't give a fuck unless it has to do with my family, friends, job or country.
BONUSES
Gilfoyle (Silicon Valley)
I don't write code like he does, though I do occasionally write automated test code. Gilfoyle really doesn't give a fuck about anything. He doesn't have a filter and says exactly what he means. He insults people and they don't get pissed off at him for doing so. I try to filter what I say, but not always, though I do not beat around the bush if people ask my opinion. I do occasionally insult people in a playful manner (zingers) and they rarely get pissed off at me for doing so. And, except for what I said above, I don't give a fuck either.
Tallahassee (Zombieland)
Hard on the outside, soft on the inside, doesn't like snowballs, enjoys the little things and has enough badassery to be one awesome motherfucking zombie killer. I can project a hard exterior, though I'm just a big softy (I like hugs and European style cheek kisses... you have been forewarned should I meet any of you in person, male or female... don't worry, I won't try to plant one on your lips). I don't like snowballs because I don't care much for coconut. I enjoy the little things in life, like the way my wife smells, her laugh, the sparkle in her eyes, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, anything in nature (animals, insects, reptiles, flowers, plants, trees, rock formations, bodies of water of all sizes, mountains, prairies, plains, forests, woods, rain, snow, sun, fog, mist, etc.), time with family and friends regardless of how brief, the smell of rain and freshly cut grass, the smell of a campfire and slightly burnt marshmallows, the explosion of red, yellow, orange and brown in the autumn, the colors of wildflowers in spring, the beauty of the night sky, the taste of a snowflake on my tongue, the touch of mist from a waterfall on my cheeks, raindrops on my head, the sun's warmth on my face and so much more. And if the zombie apocalypse ever does occur, I'll definitely take pleasure in creatively destroying any zombies.
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So there are the 3 (+2) fictional characters whom I think best describe me. What fictional characters best describe you? DO your homework, put the link in a comment below and tag me in that comment. I will read your blog homework. I read a lot of them because it's fun and I get to learn something new about you.
Stay Tuned...
DeadGuitarist
