It's been super long since I posted anything here.. Since my birthday hangover, as it goes. And I have since dropped from the RN program at ULL and relocated back to my hometown, where I am now attending LTC Avoyelles for LPN, which will take my about eightteen months. So, by next May, I should be an LPN. Yay. So far, so good. I'm holding A's in everything (whilst half the class is failing mind you). But this studying bit is not easy. I have a BA in English and that was very different from this type of stuff. Never had to study then.
Since my birthday, I've pretty much been on lots of ups and downs. I went to Boston, which was a BIG UP. I had a blast, and pierced my nipples while I was there. That has led me to wanting more piercings. I think I'll pierce my nostrils, next. Left first, then the right, but maybe some time later. We're not supposed to have piercings during clinicals, so I'll probably get the nostril done soon so I can put a retainer in it come May when we start. And I suppose all the other piercings (various ear piercings) will just have to wait until I'm done with school.
I got new tattoos at the very beginning of January. My Paradise Lost "Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall." tattoos with the apples. I LOVE THEM!!
I really can't wait to get more ink, but I've made a deal with myself that I'm not allowed to get the first bit of ink until I lose thirty pounds. If nothing else, it ought to give me more time to save money for more ink.
While I was in Boston, I found myself missing my then fuck buddy. I pondered kicking our relationship up to more than that, and ultimately decided against it. In retrospect, I'm very glad I didn't. I know he wants a relationship. He's ready for the settled down, marriage, house, and kids bit of life, and though I feel I am, too. I really don't want to SETTLE for him on the primary reason that we both want the same things, because, other than those common goals, there are no sparks. Should I hold off on that? I mean, we have the same life goals, we both want marriage, a nice house, and children. I do enjoy spending time with him, and he's very nice. But, I don't melt around him. I don't get weak and miss him all the time. Like I said, no sparks. And, I also found out he's a LOT kinkier than I'll ever be, or I'll ever want to be. There are some things I just don't want to do. And I don't hold that against him or anything, it's just not for me. So, I think eventually we'd hit a wall there.
There is, however, someone that does make me melt and weak at the knees. I finally told him so, and he said that he wasn't over his ex. And that's all fine and dandy, but he never said one way or the other how he felt about me. He riddles our conversations with mixed signals all the time and it drives me crazy! I'm sure he does like me, a little, anyway, but he really is still very much caught up in his ex. Last time I talked to him, I found out that his ex is "in love," again. So, perhaps he will make a more pronounced effort to move on. Though, I gotta tell you, it sure does suck "looking for love" when you've already been in love and are dealing with other folks who have, as well. The first love always scars you something awful and just totally skews the rest. Even though I'd jump at the chance if he said he wanted me as a girlfriend, I believe that I'd always think in the back of my mind that he really loves his ex more than he could love me. Which, I suppose time would change....I guess.
And then there's MY ex, whom I DO love immensely and often miss way more than I should. But after five years, I can't really erase my feelings for him. I'll just have to let them fade away. I'm not hanging on, at least. But I have my weak moments when I start to ponder regret for my decision. But, I talked to him for two or more hours the other night. And if someone else wouldn't have called at the end of our conversation, I'm sure I'd have cried myself to sleep. Realistically, I do not regret my decision, and no matter how much I may miss him somedays, I know that it really never would have worked out because our goals and wants are entirely different. .....and if it was him that changed my password on yahoo last night, he's still a LOUSY FUCKER.
Hrm, what else? I'm getting over the flu, which totally SUCKED for two weeks. But I feel lots better.
I now live alone. At first that was lonely as fuck, but now I like it. Though, I do miss having someone to sleep beside, but that hasn't been there for eight months. This house needs a lot of work, though, and I'm totally unmotivated to do it right now.
Anyhow, if I want to keep those A's, I better get my ass to studying instead of blogging.
Since my birthday, I've pretty much been on lots of ups and downs. I went to Boston, which was a BIG UP. I had a blast, and pierced my nipples while I was there. That has led me to wanting more piercings. I think I'll pierce my nostrils, next. Left first, then the right, but maybe some time later. We're not supposed to have piercings during clinicals, so I'll probably get the nostril done soon so I can put a retainer in it come May when we start. And I suppose all the other piercings (various ear piercings) will just have to wait until I'm done with school.
I got new tattoos at the very beginning of January. My Paradise Lost "Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall." tattoos with the apples. I LOVE THEM!!
I really can't wait to get more ink, but I've made a deal with myself that I'm not allowed to get the first bit of ink until I lose thirty pounds. If nothing else, it ought to give me more time to save money for more ink.
While I was in Boston, I found myself missing my then fuck buddy. I pondered kicking our relationship up to more than that, and ultimately decided against it. In retrospect, I'm very glad I didn't. I know he wants a relationship. He's ready for the settled down, marriage, house, and kids bit of life, and though I feel I am, too. I really don't want to SETTLE for him on the primary reason that we both want the same things, because, other than those common goals, there are no sparks. Should I hold off on that? I mean, we have the same life goals, we both want marriage, a nice house, and children. I do enjoy spending time with him, and he's very nice. But, I don't melt around him. I don't get weak and miss him all the time. Like I said, no sparks. And, I also found out he's a LOT kinkier than I'll ever be, or I'll ever want to be. There are some things I just don't want to do. And I don't hold that against him or anything, it's just not for me. So, I think eventually we'd hit a wall there.
There is, however, someone that does make me melt and weak at the knees. I finally told him so, and he said that he wasn't over his ex. And that's all fine and dandy, but he never said one way or the other how he felt about me. He riddles our conversations with mixed signals all the time and it drives me crazy! I'm sure he does like me, a little, anyway, but he really is still very much caught up in his ex. Last time I talked to him, I found out that his ex is "in love," again. So, perhaps he will make a more pronounced effort to move on. Though, I gotta tell you, it sure does suck "looking for love" when you've already been in love and are dealing with other folks who have, as well. The first love always scars you something awful and just totally skews the rest. Even though I'd jump at the chance if he said he wanted me as a girlfriend, I believe that I'd always think in the back of my mind that he really loves his ex more than he could love me. Which, I suppose time would change....I guess.
And then there's MY ex, whom I DO love immensely and often miss way more than I should. But after five years, I can't really erase my feelings for him. I'll just have to let them fade away. I'm not hanging on, at least. But I have my weak moments when I start to ponder regret for my decision. But, I talked to him for two or more hours the other night. And if someone else wouldn't have called at the end of our conversation, I'm sure I'd have cried myself to sleep. Realistically, I do not regret my decision, and no matter how much I may miss him somedays, I know that it really never would have worked out because our goals and wants are entirely different. .....and if it was him that changed my password on yahoo last night, he's still a LOUSY FUCKER.
Hrm, what else? I'm getting over the flu, which totally SUCKED for two weeks. But I feel lots better.
I now live alone. At first that was lonely as fuck, but now I like it. Though, I do miss having someone to sleep beside, but that hasn't been there for eight months. This house needs a lot of work, though, and I'm totally unmotivated to do it right now.
Anyhow, if I want to keep those A's, I better get my ass to studying instead of blogging.
sadsappystudent:
how awesome was mardigras lady?!