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deadfishies

Member Since 2009

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Wednesday Jun 24, 2009

Jun 24, 2009
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Sitting in the dunkin donuts, drinking coffee, waiting.
Not sure what I'm waiting for, but just waiting, and writing, and discovering new things. Observing and thinking mostly. Its what I usually do. Think, observe, write. There's not much else to do. When I go somewhere with free wi-fi, to entertain myself, the internet seems so limiting. And then when I have no internet, there's nothing better to do, and I wish I was online, doing something fun. When I'm here, there's nothing fun to do, but think of things I'd rather be doing.
What would I rather be doing? Maybe taking photos, hanging with cool people, smoking, finding and reading new, interesting books, drinking, working(if I had a job, although if I had a job, I would wish I had more free time, and now that I have too much free time, I wish I was working). In this world, there is no winning. And when you finally win, you don't want it.
You always want what you can't have. Like a woman. I've been wanting a sweet, girl-on-girl relationship, or a sweet girl friendship. I just want to find someone I can trust, and who will be there for me, just like I'm there for everyone else. It seems like when I most need someone, no one is there.
Like I said, there is no winning.
tabby:
haha i know how you feel about the job thing, im currently unemployed, yet even though i feel like i really want one and definetely need one, ill miss all my alone time tongue oh well, i have an interview tommarow, that i doubt ill get..but what can ya do tongue

and im confused, are u in a relationship with someone named Josh or are you looking for a relationship with a girl? smile just curious..and noisy. lol. anyways, you live in the same town as one of my friends, Nikki..and not TOO far from me.. by the way, i know how you feel. as much as i like being by myself, when im looking for someone to be around and they arent, it really sucks tongue
Jun 24, 2009

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