ddom

The Guys' Rules-------------------
>>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the
>>guys' side of the story.
>>( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>We always hear "the rules "
>>From the female side.
>>
>>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>>These are our rules!
>>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>>ON PURPOSE!
>>1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>>We need it up, you need it down.
>>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>>Let it be.
>>
>>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>>
>>1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>>1. Ask for what you want.
>>Let us be clear on this one:
>>Subtle hints do not work!
>>Strong hints do not work!
>>Obvious hints do not work!
>>Just say it!
>>
>>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>>question.
>>
>>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>>what we do.
>>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
>>See a doctor.
>>
>>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, ! don't
>>Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>>Don't ask us.
>>
>>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them
>>makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>>
>>1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
>>done.
>>Not both.
>>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>
>>1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>>commercials.
>>
>>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>>
>>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>>We have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>>We do that.
>>
>>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>>nothing's wrong.
>>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we
>>know you will bring it up again later.
>>
>>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
>>you don't want to hear.
>>
>>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
>>Really.
>>
>>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
>>
>>1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>>1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>>1. Thank you for reading this.
>>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>>
>>
>>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>>
>>Pass this to as many men as you can -
>>to give them a laugh.
>>
>>Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh