Saturday Apr 17, 2010

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Okay okay okay! I've been saying...forever...that I'd write a new blog post, so here it is.

First off, remember last year when I quit drinking after I realized I probably had a problem? That year off of drinking will be done with this Tuesday!

Am I going to keep it up, stay dry?

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No.

Why?

I don't want alcohol, addiction or not, to define me in any way, or to control my decisions (as in, "I'd better not go to that party, I'll want to drink and I don't drink" sort of decision controlling). I realized last year that I had a problem- drinking was controlling me, it was influencing (ha!) my decisions- and I took a very drastic step to confront that problem. If I continue to avoid drinking, I'm still letting alcohol control me- it will still be influencing my decisions, just in the opposite manner.

So, after my year of proving that I have a stronger willpower than I previously thought, I'm going to try- get this- being normal. Normal as far as drinking goes, anyway. Say I'm at a wedding, and I am a lotttt, being a wedding photographer and all, and the bride and/or groom want to have a drink with me, I will, and I'll be fine. Or I'm out with my amazing girlfriend and I just plain feel like having a drink, I will. Things like that, not things like a little over a year ago where I'd be sitting here falling asleep with a bottle in my hand. That'd be bad, kids.

Not only have I taken myself out of that state mentally, I've surrounded myself with positive people rather than a bunch of alcoholics who need drinking buddies. Not that drinking buddies are bad, they're just bad to have every day and night of the week. puke

I'm in control here, kids, and in the really crazy far-off chance that I'm not, I've got the people around me who will tell me so, and do something about it. smile




I haven't been active on the site at all for months- I've been working my ass off trying to get my business strong enough to support me, so that I don't have to have a night job on top of it just to keep all the bills paid. Mostly paid, anyway. Shot a little bit for Zivity.com and plan on shooting more, too. Click on that link to see.

Been doing a lot of organizing as of late. Probably moving the studio, which is in a faaarrrrr too small of a space right now into a warehouse/office combo in the coming months. That will be awesome. AnnabellLee_ and I are updating my portfolios online, since they're severely lacking any new work. Okay, she's doing most of it, because she's amaaaazing like that. Oh, and we shot a super creepy photoset for zivity of her as wel! love

That's all I've got for now; I'm really bad at getting thoughts written down, so this'll have to do. No promises of an update soon, but I'll try?

Darntootin/dcmarsh

PS: PHOTOS!!!

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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
theanthonyhall:
Yeah, I'm a bit of a night owl. The lady doesn't like it so much, but I can't help it.
annasthesia:
First off, thank you wink Secondly, I think that's a very interesting standpoint you're taking about your use of alcohol, and I like it. I never really thought about it from the point of "if you never drink again, alcohol is, in a way, controlling your life." Anyways, keep staying positive and smile biggrin

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