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dbl012fret

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Apr 24, 2007

Apr 24, 2007
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out of the past. i watched this film a couple nights ago. it documents the struggles of kelli peterson and other students in salt lake city. these high school students began a gay straight alliance club at east high school. none of them understood the ramifications of this decision. i won't give up any more. but what makes this film so useful is that it not only documents the students' activities in the mid-nineties, but also reflects on historic figures. i recommend it highly.

after watching the film i did a search to find out more about the students and found out that one, a lovely young man who appeared so warm and joyful, committed suicide a year or so after the film. jacob lawrence orosco was a seventeen year old gay man.

a month or so ago i was visiting with friends when one of them remarked that she wished she wasn't gay, wished she was straight. i was stunned. this from a woman who is active in her community and a lesbian leader. a woman who sets a strong and courageous example to others. why, i wondered, would she wish to be straight when she was so clearly happy?

of course, the reason is that being straight one might never have to give thought to the issues of gender, or sexuality for that matter. it's certainly clear that few straight men give any thought to their privilege and "rightful" place as central. it appears that few straight women give thought to their privilege or place as well. in my experience only those whose sexuality or gender calls into question heterosexism and misogyny unexamined by straight culture. although to do so endangers anyone thus inclined.

earlier today a dear friend shared an experience she'd had recently with a young man whose own ego and strength of character so shallow that he could not ask for help. a day later he and two other men set out to prove themselves superior to my friend, a woman. they found out they were in fact inferior. while they would never admit it, my friend's abilities put the lie to their presumptions of superiority.

how this young man screams at his lover because he feels such a failure and cannot admit it.

yet my other friend would choose to be straight if she could choose. and a dear young man commits suicide.

i grieve tonight for those who feel trapped in the straight jacket (pun intended) of heterosexism. i grieve tonight for my friends who suffer daily at the ugly presumptions of misogyny. i grieve tonight that while we profess respect for individuality and freedom we must constantly be on guard against the potential for violence that might result from our being whomever we truly are.

i grieve tonight that my lover lies alone in providence, or virginia beach, or denver, or los angeles, or kansas city, or salt lake city, and i grieve especially for my lover who lies alone tonight in dillon too frightened to admit he desires to take me in his arms. i grieve tonight.


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