dbl012fret

"Ever since I left the heterosexual scene, I feel less anger." Helene Cixous
(this from the introduction to "'coming to writing,' and other essays," by cixous.)

i have a friend who believes human beings are by nature good, kind and nonviolent. often when she and i talk i find myself wondering what world she lives in_there appears so many instances of violence on a global level that holding to her view seems nearly impossible, and perhaps a bit naive. naturally, i'm not sure she's wrong. she's an incredibly powerful person who lives a life of peace. so at least on a local level she proves her point through her lifestyle.

what strikes me about the citation above is not so much that cixous may be outing herself (to be honest i don't know if she's a lesbian or not, and don't actually care much). however, i understood what she says here. as i've been more willing to be my self unattached to the demands particularly of heterosexism i've been less and less angry. certainly for me at least attempting to find pleasure where there was less and less led me to a mixture of feelings which i kept mostly hidden in my heart, and which when they surfaced most often surfaced as anger.

a friend recently told me that one of the things he enjoys about having me back is the change he sees. he told me i was no longer angry. he's right.

but this got me wondering if at least a portion of the anger exhibited in our world might not arise from the demands of the heterosexist lie on human beings_on men in particular. it's certainly easy enough to locate most of those who dominate in the arena of violence within the confines of ideologies that institute heterosexism as required (with all the laws of behavior that arise from such an institution). bush's christianity evidently has no room for anyone who seeks pleasure outside the rigid confines of heterosexism. in fact, it's accepted by many christians that any lifestyle that isn't heterosexual is not only a sin but needs to be wiped out. evidently this is true for those holding onto a conservative reading of islam as well. no wonder george wants to escalate the war in iraq, and that dear young people continue to strap bombs to their bodies.

i witness anger on a more local level when i visit with friends who are married. most often the marriage (a requirement of heterosexism) has led the two into an arena where resentment and anger appear to have authority. where once two well meaning and delightfully in love people stood now angry and ugly people have taken their place. it's not a stretch to suggest that marriage is one of the areas that nurtures anger, resentment and violence. again, a heterosexual institution that breeds anger and violence.

i look forward to an age when we identify ourselves as post-heterosexual just as inga muscio writes of a post-patriarchal age. something at least to hope for. and perhaps such a time will prove my friend correct in her estimation of human beings relationship with and to peace.