So I was talking to my sister recently about stagnation. About how I've struggled with not knowing my purpose, or in what direction I'm moving. When I say talking, what I actually mean is that I started to broach the topic.

And then she told me to shut up.

"We've been down this path before. I've heard you go through the pros and cons of this and that. You humm and you haww. And then you make the easy decision, which is to make no decision at all. What you have, dear brother, are called desirable difficulties. You have too many options. Fucking pick something. Commit. To something. Take a leap. Even if it ends up being in the wrong direction, that's better than standing in quicksand. Stop being so fucking afraid to fail that you fail to try. How bad can failing even be for you? You have a huge support system. No one's going to let you die. Appreciate that, and do something with yourself."

She's a smart cookie, my little sister.

My life's been too easy. I need some struggle. I need to scrape away some layers and to find out what I'm made of underneath.

I think I may have started myself down that road tonight.