I feel like I need a release of some sort. It could be a drunken blowout all night party, it could be a want to get high (something I just don't do anymore), It could be a sexual release... hell it could be a need for an academic debate or arguement. I just feel like there is something boiling up inside of me that is screaming to be let loose.
I know what I ultimately need to make this feeling abate... I need a Bung show. I need a night with that band cranking out the music that affects like not other ever does.
School is... for the very first time perhaps, stressfull. Before it was always something I could easily handle, just needed to put the effort in. Now I feel like I am running out of gas. I think probably because I have been at it solid since I started the undergrad in September of 2002. It might also be because I am working on the SSHRC grant, and other funding options and my MA applications while working 20 hours a week and doing four courses, plus my honours essay. Add to that the weather shifting and the sky getting darker earlier, and a lack of time for just simple socializing, a lack of funding to do said socializing should there be time to do so, and a want to just not have to think for a little while, just lose myself in a moment... a musical moment, a movie moment, a sexual moment, a fantasy moment. Something, anything where I could just shut my brain down.
Last night I slept very... comfortably, thoguh it seems I tossed and turned some, the sleep itself was very rewarding, but the second that I started to rouse this morning, the brain went into hyperdrive. I started making lists of everything I needed to accomplish, the first of which did not happen, I did not make it to my 9:00am class... blech. The next couple of things I did manage to get done, I fixed the computer after the powerspike that blew my network card. that took some doing, not from my end of it, but just sitting on hold waiting for Aliant to fess up to the problem... two full hours on the phone today, added to an hour of hold time last night. A great hassle that has finally been sorted. I picked up the text book I need to make a start on my Religion and Pop Culture paper / webpage. I made it to the rest of my classes, and did better on my Historical Methods paper than I thought I would, pulling in a 78, which can be fixed with the next assignment, and get my grade back to the A it should be. And then I made it to work, which has gone smooth as silk this evening, with a couple of trouble calls and one moderated classroom session.
I have managed to get some more work done on the SSHRC application, but still have some to go. I really want to bury that one, so that I can concentrate on the actual studies I need to be doing. I have looked at and put away, and looked at and put away, and looked at and put away the books I need for my Honours essay tonight, but I just can't seem to focus ... because I need that release I spoke of earlier... maybe it will come tomorrow when I get my new ink =)I think I am going to go down early and get Craig to poke a hole in me too =) maybe the two of that will be a sufficient diversion and I will be able to focus once again over this weekend. I can't believe how fast this week went by... it seems a blur to me...
Ahhh well... enough of the ramble for now... you can see that I am a little on the scattered side =)
I know what I ultimately need to make this feeling abate... I need a Bung show. I need a night with that band cranking out the music that affects like not other ever does.
School is... for the very first time perhaps, stressfull. Before it was always something I could easily handle, just needed to put the effort in. Now I feel like I am running out of gas. I think probably because I have been at it solid since I started the undergrad in September of 2002. It might also be because I am working on the SSHRC grant, and other funding options and my MA applications while working 20 hours a week and doing four courses, plus my honours essay. Add to that the weather shifting and the sky getting darker earlier, and a lack of time for just simple socializing, a lack of funding to do said socializing should there be time to do so, and a want to just not have to think for a little while, just lose myself in a moment... a musical moment, a movie moment, a sexual moment, a fantasy moment. Something, anything where I could just shut my brain down.
Last night I slept very... comfortably, thoguh it seems I tossed and turned some, the sleep itself was very rewarding, but the second that I started to rouse this morning, the brain went into hyperdrive. I started making lists of everything I needed to accomplish, the first of which did not happen, I did not make it to my 9:00am class... blech. The next couple of things I did manage to get done, I fixed the computer after the powerspike that blew my network card. that took some doing, not from my end of it, but just sitting on hold waiting for Aliant to fess up to the problem... two full hours on the phone today, added to an hour of hold time last night. A great hassle that has finally been sorted. I picked up the text book I need to make a start on my Religion and Pop Culture paper / webpage. I made it to the rest of my classes, and did better on my Historical Methods paper than I thought I would, pulling in a 78, which can be fixed with the next assignment, and get my grade back to the A it should be. And then I made it to work, which has gone smooth as silk this evening, with a couple of trouble calls and one moderated classroom session.
I have managed to get some more work done on the SSHRC application, but still have some to go. I really want to bury that one, so that I can concentrate on the actual studies I need to be doing. I have looked at and put away, and looked at and put away, and looked at and put away the books I need for my Honours essay tonight, but I just can't seem to focus ... because I need that release I spoke of earlier... maybe it will come tomorrow when I get my new ink =)I think I am going to go down early and get Craig to poke a hole in me too =) maybe the two of that will be a sufficient diversion and I will be able to focus once again over this weekend. I can't believe how fast this week went by... it seems a blur to me...
Ahhh well... enough of the ramble for now... you can see that I am a little on the scattered side =)