davidtieck

Dear Expert
I'm glad I don't write a 'Dear Abby' advice column because then even the birthday song becomes a request for advice:

'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Dear Abby'
'Wait wait wait, seriously youre going to throw one of those at me now? Give me a break for fucks sake, how dare you try to make me work in...
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Some very good advice
On how to.. Wait for the excitement.. Fix a fridge!

Cricket, for those who don't know, is an awesome game. In its best variety, known as test cricket, a match lasts for five days. Some of the awesome elements included in this sport during these five days are:
- Long periods where seemingly nothing happens
- Heavy drama that to many...
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The truth about what is about to come, fuck you rapture

Apparently some crazy religious coot has predicted the end of the world again this coming week, and while crazy old coots are rarely wrong I for one think that our impending death is only a small part of the upcoming week that we need to give serious thought about. And as a crazy young...
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I hate you science, you fat bastard

That's some sexy sexy kitten science

Don't ruin those girls, you bastards!

Ive been thinking a lot about fame the past couple of days. As a famous author I am well on my way to being famous, I mean consider this list of places I have been recognized by adoring public:

-In an elevator.
- On the street.
- In a mall.

Sure, its only happened three times total, but those...
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Vicious vicious criminal

If I ever go to jail I want it to be for something cool. like vagrancy!

Other vicious criminals: Whatcha in for?

Me, only with a cool gruff vicious criminal voice: Nothing! And I mean LITERALLY nothing, I'm in jail for doing nothing for so long they put me in here, I do my nothing hard, I nothing to the core. When...
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You are so hot... now that you've been scienced!!!

Once again very important scientific information takes Dave to be finally pointed out.... life your game other science type people

More In The! (Everyone else already stole More Sex)

I like Sex in the City, it reminds me that if I was a far more attractive man I could be having sex with far less attractive women, and the more attractive I got the older the women would be! Yay.

Without these kinds of positive messages in the media I dont know how bad my...
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Really, really costly
Here is an exchange I just witnessed.

Frantic woman: Excuse me sir, I am really sorry to bother you, but I lost my wallet and I desperately need $5 so I can get home.

Naive looking man with welcoming grey beard and smile while pulling out cash: I dont have a five, only twenties sorry.

Woman: I wouldnt ask, but I am...
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