I know what your thinking, 'I own an awesome cannon, but how do I know if the bottom may need a scrub?'

Fear not, my fellow canon owners, by which I assume I mean all of you - here are some very simple signs that have the ability to signify to you that it is time to get down and scrub that beautiful cannon bottom of yours:

- it's a really old cannon
- your cannon was a gift from an new foe who was a former friend until you discovered all his gifts had a part of them that needed scrubbing
- your cannon is currently half submerged in a mud-rat riddled swamp
- you're a not currently a clean freak
- you've never sworn your allegiance to the master of the under cleaners, by which in mean you tip your maids poorly
- you have a filthy mind, and your cannon is imaginary ha ha, like anyone has a dirty mind and yet doesn't have a real cannon
- you like to bounce dirty balls on the floor in your cannon room
- you're a believer of the phrase 'smile at a partridge, smell a brown sided tree, never meet a bald witch, and the bottom of your cannon probably needs a scrub' and you've been smiling and smelling when you should have been meeting
- the rest of your cannon needs a scrub - I mean who ONLY scrubs the bottom
- the bottom of your canon looks dirty

How did you all fair? Ya scrubbing or not? I'm not, my canon is spotless. I HAVE sworn an allegiance to the master of the under cleaners, that's right she's real! So you better start tipping your maids right you bastards!