Ruining it for all the ladies
Girls, now I know you all hope to one day be swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor, but havent you ever wondered just why these knights were so concerned by buffing up their suits all shiny before heading of to see a bunch of men on a battle field?
Lets look at some facts about Knights:
- They were christened sir as in servant to the Queen, which was a band headed by a man with a really cool mustache!
- No one ever says my grand daddy was a Knight
- They rode stallions which are like horses but extra manly and yet have waxed pubes.
- They used phallic weapons like swords, jousts and cannons when they could so easily of just used magic.
- They used a silent k which rhymes with gay, that while now means lame used to refer to happiness and joy and Knights spent most of their time joyfully hanging with other men! (Also: Thats right homosexuals you stole the word gay and weve stolen it back, deal with it or well take rainbows back too and make them represent people who are fond of digital watches. Dont think we havent noticed the symbology in the short thick hour hand being the most powerful, and the long skinny second hand being almost irrelevant, for shame).
- They famously used the battle cry whoever cuts off the most heads today gets blown by me tonight, ooh ahhh that some people think may for some reason have referenced oral sex (for the record sucking is WAY better than blowing in that department). Global warming enthusiasts also use this battle cry as evidence that the world was windier in the Middle Ages.
- They were enthusiastic of the punishment of being drawn and quartered that referred to being sketched naked and having your penis sketched quarter size, which back then was something men didnt want others to think about them, why? Maybe it would mean less guys would want to see their penises? Proving they did want men to look at their penises.
- The fact they were called Knights but mostly fought in the day leaving their torches for each other.
Thats right, the evidence is all in girls and it is clear, Knights in Shining armor are clearly trying to overcompensate for some sort of body odor problem. Sorry, fantasy ruined.
Girls, now I know you all hope to one day be swept off your feet by a knight in shining armor, but havent you ever wondered just why these knights were so concerned by buffing up their suits all shiny before heading of to see a bunch of men on a battle field?
Lets look at some facts about Knights:
- They were christened sir as in servant to the Queen, which was a band headed by a man with a really cool mustache!
- No one ever says my grand daddy was a Knight
- They rode stallions which are like horses but extra manly and yet have waxed pubes.
- They used phallic weapons like swords, jousts and cannons when they could so easily of just used magic.
- They used a silent k which rhymes with gay, that while now means lame used to refer to happiness and joy and Knights spent most of their time joyfully hanging with other men! (Also: Thats right homosexuals you stole the word gay and weve stolen it back, deal with it or well take rainbows back too and make them represent people who are fond of digital watches. Dont think we havent noticed the symbology in the short thick hour hand being the most powerful, and the long skinny second hand being almost irrelevant, for shame).
- They famously used the battle cry whoever cuts off the most heads today gets blown by me tonight, ooh ahhh that some people think may for some reason have referenced oral sex (for the record sucking is WAY better than blowing in that department). Global warming enthusiasts also use this battle cry as evidence that the world was windier in the Middle Ages.
- They were enthusiastic of the punishment of being drawn and quartered that referred to being sketched naked and having your penis sketched quarter size, which back then was something men didnt want others to think about them, why? Maybe it would mean less guys would want to see their penises? Proving they did want men to look at their penises.
- The fact they were called Knights but mostly fought in the day leaving their torches for each other.
Thats right, the evidence is all in girls and it is clear, Knights in Shining armor are clearly trying to overcompensate for some sort of body odor problem. Sorry, fantasy ruined.