davidtieck

Things that shouldn't be on TV

This week was the VMA's and of course the biggest talking points about this years VMA's are four fold:

- Lady GaGa is a much better looking guy than it is a woman.
- Even it doesn't want to kiss Brittany Spears.
- Why the hell does MTV still stage its video music awards when it doesn't ever play...
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I have reached the top
Call me crazy, but I have spent a hell of a lot of time thinking about this, and I have come to the logical conclusion that if an ant climbed to the top of a mountain and yelled: Im the king of the castle and youre a dirty rascal. Itd then quickly follow this sentence up with: Fuck it was...
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What Jim Carrey was really saying to Emma Stone

http://youtu.be/2CxUCbMOIyU

I feel warm and fuzzy inside


I have a new goal that I have recently set myself get addicted to coffee before the warm part of spring.

I have a weird long-term relationship with coffee. In highschool I thought consuming coffee, like using deodorant, and talking to the opposite sex was something that you shouldnt attempt until you were a fully established adult. At the...
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Everyone is talking about weddings and Kim Kardashian

Ah weddings, something most people will experience in life and the odd person will even enjoy. Who doesnt love weddings, except all males and anyone who has to pay for one, and the ugly bridesmaid that the best man wont bang, and the guy who has to clean the vomit off the ice-sculpture, weddings, what a marvelous...
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How can you be so cold?
This past week, as part of my life goal to have endless adventures to make up for the chronic lack of physical affection I receive the from fairer sex, I went on a vacation based around studying, identifying, discussing, and basing happiness around the various states of frozen and horribly sometimes unfrozen water. Yep, I went to the snow....
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How your life is at risk from a newly discovered yet very common disease
I dont like to get too political or socially aware on my blog, but this week I have been given access to some exclusive scientific research about a very real disease that you may currently be suffering from unaware, and/or very well may be put ting your life, and the lives...
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Kanye West vs Adolf Hitler, a study
Kanye West interrupted his concert yesterday to complain that people compare me to Hitler. Hmmm, Ive never done that myself, and I despise Kanye, but now that YOU raise it Kanye, I am willing to play ball. Why dont we play a lovely, happy happy, game of Kanye West vs Adolf Hitler, a study yaaaay:

Hitler Stupid mustache...
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Oooh, heaven is a place on earth
I recently saw a sign outside of a church that proclaimed:

THERES A LOT OF HEAVEN CRAMMED ONTO EARTH

Thats, awesome! Because that basically means that one of the angles went up to god and they had the following exchange:

Angel - Hey God mate, um, so I wanted to raise something with you, um, thing is there...
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This blog has sex AND murder

I was just in the most filthy disgustingly stinky public toilet in the world. True story. Fun times.

It is a toilet close to where I live in the car-park of a grocery store and I believe in a good year it still doesn't get cleaned. The grocery store has good fresh fruit though.

I knew this toilet was...
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I am one desperately dangerous dude


I don't have a violent bone in my body. One time a piece of chicken gristle stormed into my body via my throat and not one bone attacked it, or even stood up to it, it's now embedded between my stomach and spleen. Even now my bones bring it chicken soup when it's sick, then again I guess that...
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Here is something that you should never text message to a stranger

I want to rip your clothes off
and pull you into me from behind
fucking you in the ass
deeper and harder
hearing you scream
as you think of the Tasmanian logging industry
my vodka infused natural lubricant
will overcome every doubt
in your moistest of brain juices
like the aggregate of every...
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