Friday Apr 10, 2009

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And just like that, the only grandmother I ever knew is gone forever.
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sjofn_:
I'm sorry for your loss
sjofn_:
I hope everything is okay.....

Thursday Apr 09, 2009

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The only thing that makes Christians crazier than Christmas is fucking Easter. I tried to crack a joke at lunch today that got me some pretty serious dirty looks. Sure it was an awful joke ('Easter? Whatever happened to Wester?', followed by a timeless 'Easter? Don't even know 'er!'). At least I kept my "pin the prophet to the pole day" comments to myself. Jeeze....
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kottonkandy:
lol nice one tongue
jena:
I once horrified coworkers by exclaiming something about a Jewish holiday in "Who the fuck doesn't believe Christ came off the cross?!" It was so embarrassing. Don't feel bad.

Wednesday Apr 08, 2009

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I'm still waiting to hear about my grandmother. It's a morbid waiting game at this point. No real chance she'll get better - but no real solid idea about how long her body might hold out. You see, they found cancer in her brain. One does not generally "recover" from that.

Inevitably, I'm reminded of my mother's passing a year and a half ago. When...
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evangelin:
My grandmother told me that the last words between she and my grandfather were
Grandpop-you look tired.
Grandmom- so do you
Grandpop-I am
Grandmom- Then it's time for you to rest
Grandpop- ok. I love you
Grandmom- I love you too

My Phone rang @10pm a few hours later. My grandparents never called -I knew.
My biggest regret is that I was to weak to deal with the thought of my grandfather EVER dying. Months earlier when my grandmother finally told me he was in a nursing home and in failing heath, I went home straight to the bedroom curled in fetal and lost it. My ex came in to see what was wrong and I must have been worse then my mind can imagine. He looked like someone kicked him in the sack, kissed me on the head and could not get away from me quick enough.

I refused to go there and see him. He was the strongest man on earth-I just couldn't. My mom did go and had to be sent home from work the next day. She was a mess, This is my biological Fathers parents. That is a story for another day. I will say-Love is Love. Blood may be thicker than water, but love outweighs ALL. Any how he got well and I still wouldn't see him as I knew he was getting well so that I would, then he would die. So I wouldn't. I figuered he can keep getting better and get out of that place and when I'm sure he is well I will go spend time with him. But I will not let him think for one second that it's ok to leave. iIam Stubborn that way. I would imagine it was tiring waiting for his only grandchild to come see him. Ironically the day he passed I'd finally decided to go. The ex was out of town so I didn't have to worry after him. I got two bottles of Sharazz the night before I was to go home. Drank them both(did not intend to do that) woke up extremely late with a tanker in my head. iIcould barely make it from the bed to the sofa. Spoke to my mom (no one knew I was going to go) told her and she freaked out that I would go and put him through that. It was hard on her, I guess she understood it would be too much for me maybe...never asked just cried and hung up. The ex sent his best friend to cheer me up(he called and I was so beside myself I was in our closet against the back wall trying to crawl back into the womb I guess).

Suddenly after convincing them I was ok I hung up the phone, and felt peaceful. Then the call....it was already done, I couldn't change anything so I made it a point to be there for my grandmother and try and swallow pride and build something with my father.

We suffer for so many reasons, guilt being a big one. I believe older people at that time- realize something we don't know. Maybe they do go home and maybe it really is the most beautiful and serene place ever......

Tell her everything you've ever wanted to say and listen to everything she wants to tell you. Then feel however you feel. We can only be responsible for our actions, but maybe your dad needs a hug and to be reminded he is a part of the family. It's sometimes easy to think others don't care, sometimes we all need that reminder.

Be well~
xoxo

sjofn_:
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother, and your mother

but that little boy is so cute

Sunday Apr 05, 2009

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Today will likely be the only "nice" day we'll see all week. My son and I are camped out on the front porch watching the day go by and enjoying the sunshine. I have a feeling that next week will be a trial - my grandmother (on my mom's side) is very sick and in the hospital. I saw her on Friday but since then...
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sjofn_:
thank you
riese:
You have an adorable son! That's a beautiful picture of him too!

Friday Apr 03, 2009

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* moby - natural blues.

I saw the saddest sight this morning on my way to work. In the pouring rain on the side of the road, I saw a Canadian Goose standing by itself sort of peering across the road. When I glanced over to the median, I saw what must have been its mate - dead. When I went back out at lunch,...
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puellaris:
(heart break)
frown
evangelin:
They mate for life, but will take another partner in the event of a tragedy such as this. To witness loss on any level is devastating-it's hard to watch suffering and know nothing can be done, but to let it take it's course....

Thursday Apr 02, 2009

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evangelin:
very sexy.... miao!! kiss wink
riese:
That last one is very intriguing wink Little bit of hottness going on love love

Wednesday Apr 01, 2009

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Okay - the creative juices seem to be flowing again. Time proven remedies worked like a charm. Time to get busy.
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jena:
You're supposed to comment on people's pages! Or else the other person knows not of your conversation...silly.

And you take gorgeous, dramatic pictures.

Such good taste in music as well!
sjofn_:
I actually didn't play tonight

Wednesday Apr 01, 2009

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Okay - so I'm officially "stuck" midway through THREE stories. This happens from time to time - my mind and creativity seem to be going in opposite directions. It usually means I need a drastic change of scenery or a really intense experience of some sort.

A nice long run followed by a decent meal should start to help. But I really need to get...
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evangelin:
Precisely what I've had to do today.....I'm alittle wet from running in the rain, but alittle more even tempered. For now. Go do you!!!!
sjofn_:
I like to think he's talking about the pattern of growth here, but it's deeper then just the crap that orbits the earth. It's the stuff that is going on inside of you. The experience is one of learning through hindsight by reapeating this pattern of sufferring over and over again.

I think humans need to learn to stop the chaos and learn from it
and yes I agree it's absolutely beautiful

Tuesday Mar 31, 2009

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Sandstorm

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


1815 North, 5339 East, Dhofar, Oman
March 2nd, 1992, 2:18pm local time

The world had disappeared beneath a curtain of wind blown sand and premature night. The wind roared like a beast while it clawed brutally at his clothes and the scarf wrapped around is mouth and nose. Thankful for his goggles, he could still see no further than a...
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david_prophet:
I AM a tease. It's not ready yet.
evangelin:
Busy Bee... wink

Tuesday Mar 31, 2009

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I've gotten started on a few new stories but honestly, I think I'm going to stop posting them to the Filthy Dirty Smutty group. Either my writing sucks (a distinct possibility), or it's not the kind of thing that those folks are looking for. Probably a bit of both.

Anyway - I'll post them here in my blog exclusively from now on.
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david_prophet:
Thanks for the kind words. I'll admit that "Tension" was not something I spent a lot of time on. I wanted to write something trashy and cheap to see if people would respond better to that. They sorta didn't. Whatever. "The Project" is my favorite so far. I'm particularly fond of the line: "Every micron of her form was alight with the pure endless ecstasy of that simple coupling."

Anyway - the new story I just posted in the group is more of your inspiration. I wrote it with your pictures open next to my word processor (along with a bunch of wikipedia articles). I hope you like it.
evangelin:
I wanted to be an archeaologist growing up. I didn't know that people were actually that..and if they were, they were million year old white guys with funny accents and dry personalities. Certainly I wold have no place. So I made me daily trips to the library and got lost in the myths and history and my mind -what existed before us and how miraculous the civilization was. We still can't replicate the Pyramids. How amazing is that?!!!

"Every micron of her form was alight with the pure endless ecstasy of that simple coupling."
That statement is what I mean about your descriptions- It's as if you purposly throw smut, to hide a more sensual nature? I don't know that, that is coming out the way I want. There is a deeper longing then the obvious with you, it's what I sense and if it's true -it is indeed a beautiful nature...

I did enjoy it- I was wondering when we would see our Character taste the object of desire. I was overwhelmingly surprised to see how eager and skilled.......

And to think, I refrained from commenting on that point and you delivered it to me with more rigor then I could have ever dreamt.

PS- I could get lost for days in Wikipedia the last incident involved Marie Antoinette and several hours later I found out more then What I originally looked for shocked and you had my pictures open blush blush
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