FOUR NIGHTS A WEEK
Brain, Liver, and 19 year-old brunette walk into a bar. Brain says to Liver, "how about a drink?"
CLEAN GLOVES
Hide those greasy digits - that one specially. Walk into a room of sex and dryer-hot towels. How many loads will it be today? Let me count the ways.
The carpet was rough on the balls...
"No, you don't understand. Those are stains from the pussy kat I borrowed from a friend!"
Three blankets are better than one. My bed has pride days when I leave in the morning. I don't even know where to BUY confetti!
Wise man once said, "Be yourself." No, not that guy from Soundgarden.
DISHPANDS
It's the 7th day. Find equilibrium and used condom behind TV. Find it - unremarkable.
The kitchen replaced the church. Holy water - meet long jing cha. "I want to fight your brother! HIM against ME!"
Skillets don't talk back... lately.
It's your day. Soak it up you ugly sponge. Inflate the ego while the other poor bastards look on in quiet envy. I do dishes so I can dirty em up again, with more intensity.
"Pruney" is new hipster speak for cool.
'Did you see that hot hot hot show?'
'Yea, man. They were Pruney. Look at my snaggletooth.'
Brain, Liver, and 19 year-old brunette walk into a bar. Brain says to Liver, "how about a drink?"
CLEAN GLOVES
Hide those greasy digits - that one specially. Walk into a room of sex and dryer-hot towels. How many loads will it be today? Let me count the ways.
The carpet was rough on the balls...
"No, you don't understand. Those are stains from the pussy kat I borrowed from a friend!"
Three blankets are better than one. My bed has pride days when I leave in the morning. I don't even know where to BUY confetti!
Wise man once said, "Be yourself." No, not that guy from Soundgarden.
DISHPANDS
It's the 7th day. Find equilibrium and used condom behind TV. Find it - unremarkable.
The kitchen replaced the church. Holy water - meet long jing cha. "I want to fight your brother! HIM against ME!"
Skillets don't talk back... lately.
It's your day. Soak it up you ugly sponge. Inflate the ego while the other poor bastards look on in quiet envy. I do dishes so I can dirty em up again, with more intensity.
"Pruney" is new hipster speak for cool.
'Did you see that hot hot hot show?'
'Yea, man. They were Pruney. Look at my snaggletooth.'
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
2. Who are you sexing now? no one
3. Which hand do you wipe with? right usually
4. When was the last time you used a sex toy? never have