I had a crazy shitty night tuesday that i have re created for you. Its long and boreing, and written like an epic novel to try and keep you somewhat entertained. Read away if you have time to waste.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
tuesday night, aproxx 3am, my apartment flooded. I had just laid down when a pipe burst in the closet outside my bedroom door. Within about a minute i was standing ankle deep, bare foot , in ice cold water. i get to the hallway to realize the there is water rain down from all directions. Its so cold., i look down and realize my feet are white, except the toes that are now bright red. I realize that the water is pouring out of a pipe in the closet so hard it hitting our dryer and traveling up the side to the ceiling, and then pouring down like rain, and cascadeing down the walls.
Sober,....i think i am, or am i. Im fucking cold....thats for sure. Im sober enough at least, because i quickly realize if this situation was more periless my only hope of survivial would be the main water valve on the other side of the apt.
Peril....as im about to run for the water closet i realize that im ankle deep in water, and the water is now within about a foot of my xbox, tv, laptop, and the dozen electrical wires on the floor next to them. No time to move everything. Beside, im half naked, soaking wet, and tv's break feet. I grab the cords and pull them from the wall, and toss them ontop of the tv. I take the sheets and blankets off my bed and make a damn out of them to slow the waterflow,. I wonder as i race out the door and trough the water in the hall....did i really just buy any noticeable amount of time? I contemplate cutting the fuse box, but realize i should not be wet, cold, half naked, and fixing pipes with my limited experiance in the dark at 3am. I get to the water valve, tripping once over the dog. I go with my gut and grab what i think is the main shut off. I know years of not moving in that damp closet will have made this hard to turn. I grab it....
Tv comedy is rarely this good any more. The handle snaps off in my hand. I pause, and look at the microwave, and the knive rack next to it. I hear the water pouring into the living room and i for just a minute....consider stickin those metal knives in the microwave, putting it on the floor, and turning it on high as the water gets closer. But i just ordered a new tattoo machine and i kinda wanna be alive when it gets here...so i decide to live.
Long story short i call the front office, borrow some pliers, close the valve, move the dryer and washer out of the way, close that valve so i can turn the main on, and begin to wet vac the water off the floor. They came today and ripped up a bunch of my carpet to replace. This was just part of my week to let you know how good its been. But today was warm and i walked around the apartment complex barefoot. Im going to buy new shoes tomorrow as mine are soaked. I have a new machine comeing this week, and my camera that i had to get fixed was under warrenty as it turns out, so it didnt cost me a shitload.
I think you have moe inner streangth than me though...I would have just put the microwave on the damn floor.
What are you doing tomorrow night? Do you still want to have dinner?