davey_phoenix

I have a Sinus infection, or a tooth problem. Its been about two months now, and niether my dentist or my doctor can figure out what is wrong with me. They can however charge me a small fortune. I've had a root canal, and been chowing down antibiotics for about 8 weeks now. Im in pain most of the time because of what ever is going on in my head. Its times like this in life that i really wish my relationship wasnt such a joke. To have someone to come home to after all this, that i truely thought would be there next month or next week or next nervous breakdown....that would be some comfort at least. There is a distance growing between us, and i just cant find the energy after working and being in pain all day to do anything about it. I know how much of it honestly is her fault, but i still have to look at this(and a list of past relationships) and wonder why they all go down in flames. Maybe your all just lying to yourselves, and to me. Maybe none of you are really...i mean honestly to the core, happy with your woman or man. Maybe i just keep dating girls, and not women. Maybe i just missed something somewhere along the way to adulthood about dating. Maybe i am the only man thats really just not satisfied with great sex alone. Work is going good. The apartment would be good if i can find a roomate in the next month. If not im fucked, like prison style...not the good way. Im trying not to turn to the bottle. Im trying not to drive into a guardrail. Im trying to stay with my lady and hope for the best, and i am trying to not let temptaion lead me a stray. Despite all this, im pretty good, and very thankful. I will not let this shit make me one of those selfish misserable happy being sad fuckers. Im going to go paint, and hope the phone rings or something. Some kinda good news to get me through the night.