davey

I was thinking about looking into a second significant other, but only part time. Maybe FwB best covers what I'm looking for. All I really want is someone to let me invade their bed and sleep next to them some nights, and make out with, and debate things, and play regular Nintendo, and eat PBJs with chocolate milk, blowing bubbles with straws. I don't know if I can ask for that in real life, let alone find someone who would subject themselves to that.

"Hello, [sir or madam] I want you to take me to your place and make out with me, and I'll sleep next to you, but please know that I have a boyfriend, and he's probably going to come before you, and you'll probably never have my weekends... so in short, all I really want from you is my pleasure at my convenience, because I'm selfish and manipulative and controlling, and sometimes a bitch. It'll be fun!"

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that line wouldn't ever work for me. Maybe I could try trickery. I could get a van, and park it inconspicuously in the middle of... the library [because yeah, it's never surprising to find a van parked in the middle of the library, or an antique mall, or a bookstore]... and equip it with Super Mario Bros, triple sec, magazine clippings and mod podge, maybe a copy of Leaves of Grass, and some Edy's whole fruit bars... so many would come running, and get distracted by fun things, and I'd be hiding, waiting, and then I'd suddenly lock them in! Then I'd have my pick.

Um... or not. This is too complicated to ever work out happily.