dave82

One thing that has been alluding me for a long time in Virginia has been a good friend or two. I've met people and even hung out with a few on occasion. But none of them were people that I really wanted to be friends with. I think one reason may be that I'm still not settled into a group of people. If you look at it from the political side, I feel most comfortable with moderates and liberals but can identify with conservatives. From an outward appearance, I am a conservative even though I sway more towards a centrist viewpoint. Inside I still feel I fit in better with punks & goths but I have a hard time living that life. The church crowd isn't really my thing but I still find faith to be very important to me. All in all I am very confused about what kind of people I want to be friends with.

Examples:
1) Sunday went to a cookout with a guy who I worked with on the campaign last year and hung out with a bunch of neo-conservative go-getters. They are the ones who are fighting for the legistlative jobs and internships in DC and many are successful already in their young lives. My centrist views did not go over well and I did not feel comfortable around them. I didn't really feel like I fit in.
2) Over the weekend some goth/punk friends were going out clubbing. That might have been a possability had I been able to go, but they were going clubbing at fetish clubs. Now I am open when it comes to sexuality but fetish clubs really aren't for me.
3) I got into a big Ted Leo fix yesterday and watched his DVD, listened to his music, etc. Looked up his shows and he's playing in DC in a few weeks. He's playing a show with Thievery Corporation, Le Tigre, Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, & others that would be a cool show. However it's an Operation Ceasefire show; Operation Ceasefire is a group who wants to pull out of Iraq. These are the bands I want to see but they are not supporting causes that I cannot agree with.
4) Don't drink. Not a drinker. But it seems the drinking scene is the way that "adults" meet people outside the workplace. *sigh.

Now I am a pretty accepting person when it comes to people who have different opinions than me. Should I hang out with the people in 1) or 3) and drop my moderate views? Should I hang out with the people in 2) and become wild & crazy? Should I take up drinking more and get into social situations where I have to change my views on alcohol? Am I going to have to change who I am in order to make friends?

This is very frustrating for me. The solution seems to be that I have to do things that make me uncomfortable and do some changing of who I am. But not too much changing. -dave