listen up,
no it's not booze in my coffee, however, vanilla extract does contain some alcohol as a preservative. it's all funny ha ha when you smell my coffee and my breath then watch how i walk and believe i am drunk but dudes it's just for flavour that's it.
when old ladies glare at me in the supermarche (accent over the "e") because i keep walking into things, stumbling over myself, and flailing my hands around like a dandy i must explain it's just my personality and inherited mannerisms. i am a perfectly sane individual, i am not intoxicated, you do not have to call the police, i am not going to vomit on your real louis vuitton bag.
occassionally i like a glass of wine or a half pint of ale or a big 24 of vodka but not at 10am and not just before grocerie shopping.
i may perhaps overdo the vanilla extract after finishing the whole bottle (in a hour tops) but i assure you i am fine.
thank you.
no it's not booze in my coffee, however, vanilla extract does contain some alcohol as a preservative. it's all funny ha ha when you smell my coffee and my breath then watch how i walk and believe i am drunk but dudes it's just for flavour that's it.
when old ladies glare at me in the supermarche (accent over the "e") because i keep walking into things, stumbling over myself, and flailing my hands around like a dandy i must explain it's just my personality and inherited mannerisms. i am a perfectly sane individual, i am not intoxicated, you do not have to call the police, i am not going to vomit on your real louis vuitton bag.
occassionally i like a glass of wine or a half pint of ale or a big 24 of vodka but not at 10am and not just before grocerie shopping.
i may perhaps overdo the vanilla extract after finishing the whole bottle (in a hour tops) but i assure you i am fine.
thank you.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
chainlink:
you are indeed adorable 
spacebob:
genius blogery at every turn where might one read the rest of this play, it certainly feels a monologue to me, but then so does a good loaf of bread, one that does not fall apart too much, full of flavor, does not require concealment under a butter blanket. . . so really, is there somewhere a person can read a dasha suicide play?