darthvayne

I find the most peculiar things hilarious. Yesterday at work, as I was taking a piss I heard a guy in one of the stalls proclaim loudly. "I blew an ass-gasket up in this motherfucker. Goddamn!" I laughed out loud, I'm certain that if I had been drinking something it would have shot out my nose. Life never gets old when you get to interact with the staggering amount of retarded people I come across every day at work.

Here's a bit I'm trying to work into my eventual stand up comedy routine, not perfected yet, lemme know if you think it's funny.

One of the major differences I've noticed about men and women, well besides the "innie, outie" thing is our ass cracks. For the longest time I was convinced that women didn't have an ass crack. Guys will wear a pair of jeans pulled up to their sternums and when the bend slightly to reach for change in their pockets BAM! ass crack leaps from out of their pants. Women on the other hand wear those low riding jeans, you know the kind that you can tell whether or not she keeps grass off the playground, and they bend over and there is nothing! Nary a glimpse of a coin slot even, how is this possible I used to wonder. Then it hit me, we all have the same amount of crack, theirs is just slid forward a few more inches.