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darthlunchbox

The Queen City

Member Since 2003

Followers 72 Following 82

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Wednesday Jan 14, 2004

Jan 14, 2004
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"I am ugly please just go away," but you can't see inside of me fine. I'm not a blessing in disguise. "I should be locked up in a cage," you were just a mistake, unplanned, and unwanted. "I don't want to wake anymore," just make it all go away, fillet the flesh from my body.

A lingering darkness has grown over my soul, and blackens my dreams and thoughts, and dappens my days. Some say it's because of the area we live in, has the largest devilworshipping crowd in all of NC. Other say it's because out fair city was cursed by a witch long ago. Which city hasn't been cursed by a witch though I ask.

Others don't believe me when I talk about my experiences and how I seem to be a focus or channel for things unexplainable other then supernatural. They laugh and poke fun. "You're imagination is so wild." or "You're so funny, and crazy."

No, no I'm not, it really has happened. Others have been around to see it. Now I'm hounded with constent headaches that don't seem to go away. I've seeked out help, but no one knows why I have these headaches.

I've heard others say that I'm dillusional. The way they whisper and stare like I'm a labatory rat for the musing has driven me to give up.

I'm tired of living this happy facade when I'm not. I want it over and done with. I put on the happy face so that others will not be down. I don't want to live that anymore. My head hurts, and I'm consumed in something that I don't know what it is. Now the whispers start "what's wrong with Dave," "have you seen Dave, somethings wrong."

Yes something is wrong, I'm reaching out. I will not be used anymore, I will stand up, and refuse to be used. "Ohhh why are you being an asshole," or "
What's wrong with you."

You ask I begin to tell. Turn your back and tell me you don't have time. Then move along, I am not Dr. Dave for you next time you need help.

I truely have a problem, something isn't right with me. I can't find out what's wrong.

Blah, I babble on about things you don't want to hear.


"Father, why have you forsaken me?"--Jesus the Lord and Savior.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
helloavocado:
most people are shit when you get down to it. i have always had trouble making friends. and when they do, they tend to use me.

honestly, it's just a matter of weeding out those who are trying to take advantage of you.

meditation could help with the headaches. meditation helps me a lot. especially since i have anxiety problems.

you know, this is totally off-topic, but i almost moved to fayetteville. crazy, eh?

xo carol.

ps. thanks for the compliment. wink
Jan 14, 2004
helloavocado:
on almost living in fayetteville, it was because of schooling. i almost went to the college there. about three years ago? scary little place. i don't know if you can reply to comments on the entry i had so i did it here.

haha i had to edit it a billion times because tags went all funny. it's all up there now. haha.
Jan 14, 2004

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