darrikjohn

So I'm in Arkansas a place I never thought I would end up following a girl that I have tried my best to give everything for. She cheated on me and as I tried to get the truth out of her I found there was more things that she had been keeping from me. I do not think I am perfect and a lot of the times i didnt feel i was good enough for her. I worked as hard as i could while she went to school to help her have what she wanted and every free moment i saved for her and she left me for friends that turned out to be more then that. I tried to remember i have some worth but with my past and my present i had given up on my future so i left and as she said she would only love me i moved in with a person i thought was a friend and she spent that night in the arms of the man who constantly tried to undermine our relationship. <y friend turned out to be even worse and after 5 months used every last cent i had knowing i had no other options or people to turn to and when i could no longer front all her and her girlfriends bill and mine she left me in debt homeless and with the little bit of hope i had left ripped out of me. i tried to fight back for a while i tried to be strong 3 dogs and me in the back of my blazer cost me my job and as the last bit of balance on my credit cards dried up i got rid of all i owned and bought as much dog food as i could because they were the last thing that kept me strong enough to keep moving. one day it got to be too much and i tried to end it and i dont know if me waking up the next day has been a good thing or not but im trying again. i dont know why im writing this because its a little too whinny for me but i dont want to feel alone and i forget how to make friends be a friend or evwn have a conversation but i do know i dont want to feel alone anymore i want my phone to have more on it then freemium app notifications im still living in my car but i have a job and im not going to work everyday for someone else or to just sit there i want to enjoy life again its been a while.