Same as it ever was

1

Slowly but surely I can feel the familiar mechanisms of my world grinding to life again. Every time an attempt at cohabitation fails I find myself in this exact same spot, doing the same things to maintain my sanity. I try to learn from those experiences though as I steel myself for the next attempt at finding a woman. Each subsequent time seems to diminish
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Leave behind your fears, please believe you will not falter.

3

If I could say something to the entirety of humanity I would say this.

"If you are currently making decisions based on dividing people and/or pointing our their differences to each other, we don't need your input.

If all you want at the end of the day is more money or a bigger bottom line, you don't deserve to be in charge of anything.

If...
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iggy:
Hallelujah!
baalseraph:
Wow....couldn't have said it any better. These are quite wise words!

Such a lonely day and it's mine.

2

Sometimes at night I suddenly awaken from a deep sleep as in an anxious state. This is why I'm usually blogging late. I don't know how to describe it other than a crushing sense of belittlement or maybe loneliness is a better word. If I don't remain vigilant this feeling can persist and grow within me, convincing me of things that just aren't accurate.

One...
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baalseraph:
This is very similar to how I move through life. I like to compare life with a looong road. But it's not straight, it's full of bends and corners and ups and downs, so you'll never see what's coming next. You just have to deal with it and make the best of it. :)

10 Followers

4

I didn't notice earlier when I posted but I have 10 followers now. That's honestly 10 more than I thought I'd have here. Though I've been a member of this site a while I wasn't active on this site until just recently. I guess I just never really thought about using the blog system in place here as a place to sort my thoughts until
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
darquan223:
@twinrova That would be awesome to have that many followers! I guess I'll find out in the future. @iggy Thank you. You're quite the cutie yourself. ;)
baalseraph:
25 and tending upwards. :)

A quick run of my day

1

This is the first time I've had a Friday off in forever and it's been pretty awesome. No drama, nothing crazy happened, just me and some good old smoke while I go about my daily activities. Now I'm thinking about going to the bar for a quick beer before I retire. hmm.

But first I'd like to say The Stanley Parable is a one of...
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Bullet proof. Nothing to lose. Fire away ,fire away.

4

So yeah, blogging sober tonight so this one will likely make sense. ;)

I've been wondering all day today why it is people hide who they are from the world. What keeps us holding back on a daily basis when really those daily moments are all we have. Sure we may have plenty of them in our life, but they again we may. Perhaps the...
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Calming down.

1

So here it is, 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been playing this game called Outlast and as much as I love a good survival horror game I know it's going to keep me up at night. Best/worst part is I'm only like 1 hour into the game and it's already petrifying, lol. It takes place in an insane asylum run by...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
iggy:
I love Dr. Who!! I also like suspenseful stuff as well like you do. I just can't do gore or violence. I'm a delicate flower like that.  
darquan223:
I can't wait for the new season of Dr Who. I always love the transition into a new Doctor regeneration :)

Why here, why now?

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I feel like now more than ever I have snapped beyond belief. I can hold myself together in the general public but beyond prying eyes and corporate control I exist as a being most only get glimpses of. Is this how humanity now exists? I've often though that this being we think of a "god" is really just our echo spreading across the globe.

You...
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iggy:
I don't think it's paranoia. I believe that people with money run the world, too. And they're running it into the ground. 
darquan223:
@iggy  Yeah it's crazy to think about it especially considering that money and wealth are things made up by us. In reality they should exist to serve our needs and help us navigate the world rather than be controlled by 1% of the worlds population so they can live like happy fat cats and we have to struggle to scrape by. 

Why here, why now?

1

I feel like now more than ever I have snapped beyond belief. I can hold myself together in the general public but beyond prying eyes and corporate control I exist as a being most only get glimpses of. Is this how humanity now exists? I've often though that this being we think of a "god" is really just our echo spreading across the globe.

You...
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baalseraph:
It's nearly the same here in Germany, and I'm quite sure that things are equal all around the world. I'm always hoping that people really will remember the things their leaders have done, but during the past ten to twenty years my fellow german compatriots showed that their memory seems to be very selective. They voted for Angela Merkel to be our Federal Chancellor three times now which is proof that the masses tend to forget quite fast...
darquan223:
@baalseraph Yeah we had president Bush  (W) elected two times despite the fact that he was obviously an idiot. Now we got Obama who couldn't be more of an obvious puppet. Still though I see things changing in this country so something gotta be making a difference somewhere.

I'd rather have one night, than nothing forever.

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I've posted some rather bleak posts lately and after reading them I've realized that they don't represent who I am. I'm a pretty positive person actually.

I have found that the way I deal with negative emotions isn't completely unique though. Many seem to let their negative emotions consume them for an entire lifetime but I limit them to one horrible night.

Basically if something...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
iggy:
Love this! 
darquan223:
I only chose to speak the way I do here because I have nowhere else other than insanity to go with it. I would have ended up in an institution somewhere without this outlet for my thoughts. It's a really awesome unexpected bonus that other people actually like to read what I have to say.
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