This is something I just want to get off my chest and I have nowhere else to post it without causing people to worry.
We all know domestic abuse exists and try as we might we also know it's a beast that exists on it's own terms. For every case we stop ten more exist we never hear about. This is my account.
When I was young I saw my grandfather beat his wife of 40 years without mercy and I also saw my father stand up to him without fear.Even though my parents got my sister and I out of that situation as fast as they could the beating's didn't stop. My grandpa once beat my grandma unconscious and then threw her outside, locking all the doors to their house so she couldn't get back in. My father came to her aid.
I learned a lot from these experiences, or so I thought.
It's only through contemplation that I realize I've taken the same path yet in reverse. Though none of them have hurt me in a significant manner I've dated a string of women that have been verbally and physically abusive towards me. Society says I shouldn't acknowledge that because women are weaker than me but I know that isn't true.
I dated a woman that had a violent streak so bad there were nights I thought I probably wouldn't wake up the next day. I could hear her yelling and beating her kids, despite growing up with abusive parents. As I laid awake trying to block it out I wondered what would happen the day she took it too far, even by accident.
The only comforting thought I could muster was that I was far bigger and stronger than her physically but I knew that ultimately it didn't matter. When she wasn't laying next to me in bed I was scared she kill me in my sleep.
That's all I have in me to confess right now. If you've read this I hope you understand.
