I'm not normally at a loss for what to do but I recognize when I am. Usually I just do what I think is right but with the internet at my disposal I figure why not use it as a sounding board. If nothing else just reading your thoughts on a screen (or seeing yourself exhibit ideas outside yourself) gives a person unbelievable perspective. Given that I've found myself in a situation that I need outside perspective on.
About 3 years ago I was in a bit of a slump. I hadn't had sex in about 2 years and I was struggling to find any type of connection with a person I could take beyond friendship. Then a woman more than a decade younger than me took the initiative and actively sought me out. At the time I was into women older than me but this particular woman changed my mind on the subject. I should add at this point that she was already in a relationship but it was one of those "it's easy" sorts of things rather than something she wanted and I know this because she told me herself. We met on a few occasions and had sex but on a strict condition that that is all our relationship would be. At the time I was alright with that so I played by the rules. Then one day she stopped talking to me and I didn't know why.
Well anyhow 3 years later she's a divorcee at an extremely young age (before 21 even!) and just recently I hung out with her and we talked like we hadn't missed a beat. She's definitely someone I want as a friend but I wonder where does the line between friendship and something more divide? Sometimes I wonder if it divides at all.
I want to tell her that I like her as a really good friend but I'm uncertain of any future we might have because of our age gap and more importantly our states of mind. I'm completely broken for the umpteenth time and she's been burned by her best friend whom she married and divorced. Yet it's no coincidence that we reconnected now.
I don't know if any of this makes sense or if my head is just a giant mess but if you read this then thank you for your time.
