Today I learned a valuable lesson.
You see I've been pretty depressed lately. I try to hide it as much as I can but only so many days can go by before it seeps to the surface. Most days people don't notice at all but a few co-workers can always see it in me. The reason for my mood is because a breakup finally hit me. Took me a while to really feel it but now it's in full effect.
The story is I was two weeks into binge drinking after the breakup of my first long term relationship when I met a woman at a random party I had only just heard about hours ago. I got insanely wasted drunk (even for me) and I spilled my guts entirely to her about everything for most of the party. Then I woke up the next day with a horrible hangover and a blinking green light on my cell phone; somehow I had given this woman my number and she actually texted me the same night. We got to talking and eventually had ridiculously awesome sex. The only downside is she was married.
I always swore I would never get involved in this sort of situation but she was a special case. As time went on and we continued meeting for these sexual experiences we really grew to love each other. I know that is easily said but I'm talking real love. We were best friends, all my walls were down with her and she was the same with me.
This was the type of love that inspires fear. I knew it wouldn't last but I couldn't imagine myself without it. It's still hard as hell to this day to not see that blinking green light on my phone and know I have a text from her.
Eventually though I had to break it off with her. She wouldn't leave her husband (despite the fact he was emotionally abusive to her to an inhuman degree.)
After almost 2 years of sneaking around to have mind blowing, passionate, and truly intimate sex with a person I really loved in every sense of the word I finally made my stand and said it's either him or me. She didn't chose me.
Back to the original point of this blog, I realized today that despite how terrible things can seem there is always a ray of hope. Life might seem overbearing but eventually something will happen that will make you realize your life isn't as bad as you think. Someone will pay you a compliment, a genuine one, and if you are aware of it that simple sentiment can turn your mood around.
I guess to put it in a more poetic way:
Don't surround yourself with so much darkness you can't see the light, even if it isn't as bright as you're used to it's still better than being in complete pitch black.
You see I've been pretty depressed lately. I try to hide it as much as I can but only so many days can go by before it seeps to the surface. Most days people don't notice at all but a few co-workers can always see it in me. The reason for my mood is because a breakup finally hit me. Took me a while to really feel it but now it's in full effect.
The story is I was two weeks into binge drinking after the breakup of my first long term relationship when I met a woman at a random party I had only just heard about hours ago. I got insanely wasted drunk (even for me) and I spilled my guts entirely to her about everything for most of the party. Then I woke up the next day with a horrible hangover and a blinking green light on my cell phone; somehow I had given this woman my number and she actually texted me the same night. We got to talking and eventually had ridiculously awesome sex. The only downside is she was married.
I always swore I would never get involved in this sort of situation but she was a special case. As time went on and we continued meeting for these sexual experiences we really grew to love each other. I know that is easily said but I'm talking real love. We were best friends, all my walls were down with her and she was the same with me.
This was the type of love that inspires fear. I knew it wouldn't last but I couldn't imagine myself without it. It's still hard as hell to this day to not see that blinking green light on my phone and know I have a text from her.
Eventually though I had to break it off with her. She wouldn't leave her husband (despite the fact he was emotionally abusive to her to an inhuman degree.)
After almost 2 years of sneaking around to have mind blowing, passionate, and truly intimate sex with a person I really loved in every sense of the word I finally made my stand and said it's either him or me. She didn't chose me.
Back to the original point of this blog, I realized today that despite how terrible things can seem there is always a ray of hope. Life might seem overbearing but eventually something will happen that will make you realize your life isn't as bad as you think. Someone will pay you a compliment, a genuine one, and if you are aware of it that simple sentiment can turn your mood around.
I guess to put it in a more poetic way:
Don't surround yourself with so much darkness you can't see the light, even if it isn't as bright as you're used to it's still better than being in complete pitch black.