darlinginvalid

Went dancing again last night. This time was popscene.
It was nice, and purging to be dancing,
I had a lot of caffinated energy.

But it was hard to be there too. Thinking of certain first kisses that were had. Im so blue thinking about how things turned.
The longer I go without understanding the worse the strain. My hope and faith decays exponentionally.

I pretend like its all gone. But I think deep down its still there.

Le sigh.
of all loses, this is the hardest yet.

But ill not think on it.

other things to think on:

I have TWO books to finish making by next week. this is going to kick my ass because both are going to need a lot of attention to get to the completed point.

I also have to finish my major propsal by monday. also going to kick my ass. i smell impending rejection. (not unlike the smell of dead white men. fucking buerocratic bullshit its going to be, i KNOW it. why wont they just let me study what i want? i know what i need.)

so im going to go to the coffee shop, and try not to think on things.