I think about all the things I don't have. But I seem to be reminided of the things i do have. I have friends to talk to, who care for me I know girls in porn and they give me tips on how to treat a girl. I know cops who want to see me do good. I know secret service people who tell me to stay away from bad things. I know actors, politicians, pastors, nuns. I've met mayors, actors, ex presidents but still I'm walking alone. I talk to painters, gallery owners, comics artists, teachers professors and i'm indesisive. I have wrote stories, poems, songs, composed songs, painted my life on a canvas, sketched my future on paper but yet I am no where. What is this boulder in my way? what is keeping me still? What is holding me back? I should be anything, could be anything and yet i'm nothing a zero a nobody. Does winter affect my depression? or is it a side effect of being young, horny, and dumb? Can I get a clue, answer, scooby snack, a sack or weed something to calm my brain down? All these things I have in my head, all these doubts, uncertainty, what the fuck is going on. I'm better than this, I could redesign the colosuem, improve the mona lisa, rewrite the 5th symphony, But I'm jobless, horny, and alone. I'm pathetic.
