darkriver

When it first happened, I had no real sadness, because of the way I was treated towards the end. I made the decision, one I never thought I could, and ended it. I don't think she thought I would be able to either, it seemed to be a surprise. She thought I would be an endless supply of gifts, money, trips...

With valentines Day here I miss her, she was young, beautiful, and fun to be with. I've been very tempted to call, email, message, or text her. Here it is, a month and a half later and I'm starting to feel the sadness, I keep remembering the good times we had, going to the beach, going for walks or bike rides,taking care of her after surgery, just being with her. I keep trying to tell myself that's all that there ever was, I'm pushing all of the bad things into a hole to bury them. Thing is, that hole would be much larger than the one I'd bury the good in.

I need strength