darkmist

i keep seeing all of these tv programs where familys deal with death.........im not afraid of death personally, i think mainly because i know its coming soon (i have cystic fibrosis) i actually cant wait to die, end all the pain, sickness, etc. but what i have been thinking about is how sad my family will be, and in that sense, it isnt fair in any way to my family, especially my parents that i should die first......ive also been having these dreams about my grandma and grandpa dying, they r both sick at the moment (old age) and im going to be absolutely lost when my grandma dies, i think i will severely go into shock, my grandpa i havent seen since i was 13 because he lives in iowa, i think im going to take a trip out there and see him soon........on a happier note, i got the harddrive on my computer finally formatted (had to take it to a computer shop) and now im installing windows onto it, its taking forever and ive gotten one error message, currently it is in the saving settings process, wish me luck i think thats about it.........i start school on the 12th, cant wait, yes im weird, ok now thats it, hugz, kissez, suckz, n lickz