Dear Diary,
So this shall be the auto-bio-blog circumventing the history and soul of Scot. Possibly this will be a kind of mission statement or manifestomaybe I'm still delusional, most likely I'm very delusional.
The Pope is dead, long live the pope! The boy I was is gone but I'm trying to make a man in his place. Eight years in the making, wellthis being the beginning I guess the next bit will be more prequel material. It might be a bit incriminating, so any authorities should stop nowk?...k.
Anyway Ive been your basic fuck up for more of my life than not. This ranges from my stellar collegiate career, My Impressive love life, and my biggest regret addiction.
I was supposed to finish high-school then attend college and finally get a job in the English field, most hopefully as poet laurite and famous screenwriter. That didnt pan out; I still aspire to the final outcome but its come to my knowledge I really suck at school and prefer to learn on my own (I know this is a total cop out, but its a pretty lie).
To the Uber-Christian, the Married Chick, and the 13th Stepper I'm very sorry for the way our relationships ended, I'm still learning how to beand a graceful finale has still escaped me. I also want to thank you for the individual lessons youve each left me with and I promise to try and do better next time. Finally, I know I'm an addict and alcohol just happens to be the most prevalent because its the easiest to get. I know I'm not following the path of least resistance and going cold turkey on all inebriants, but thats a harder thing to do than I ever thought and I'm now realizing that fact. I am a stoner, card carrying and right now not ashamed of it at all, Ive been prescribed sleep aids, anti-psychotics, and anti-depressants so right now I'm rationalizing my addiction to pot as a form of self medication that I believe is beneficial.
On December 25th of 2004 I was busted for DUI, plead guilty and endured the wraith of the state rehabilitation theory and the religion of Alcoholics Anonymous. Both of which I believe to be a naive and over generalization of who we fuck-ups are. On January 1st of 2005 I had a more severe fuck-up but thanks to loving protective parents and the help of a damn good lawyer I seem to have dodged that bullet legally. But that does not mean I havent been punished. I had a very cushy life before these transgressions, one I didnt respect or appreciate. But like Oxygen, some things you dont miss till theyre gone. I still have an amazing and fortunate existence, but these events have forced me to start growing up.
And thats where I am nowIve cut off all my relationships in an attempt to sterilize my environment so that maybe I can achieve this goal. The other side of this coin is that there is an incredible loneliness brought with this existence and I really want to pursue friendships outside of work now and I think that someone to help me limp through the hard parts would help, but I donno if that kind of strength is something you can ask of another person. I need someone to watch me dig myself out of this hole and rub my shoulders when it gets hard.
So this is like the longest thing Ive written in a minute so I shall now bow out gracefully.
Yours Truly,
Scot
So this shall be the auto-bio-blog circumventing the history and soul of Scot. Possibly this will be a kind of mission statement or manifestomaybe I'm still delusional, most likely I'm very delusional.
The Pope is dead, long live the pope! The boy I was is gone but I'm trying to make a man in his place. Eight years in the making, wellthis being the beginning I guess the next bit will be more prequel material. It might be a bit incriminating, so any authorities should stop nowk?...k.
Anyway Ive been your basic fuck up for more of my life than not. This ranges from my stellar collegiate career, My Impressive love life, and my biggest regret addiction.
I was supposed to finish high-school then attend college and finally get a job in the English field, most hopefully as poet laurite and famous screenwriter. That didnt pan out; I still aspire to the final outcome but its come to my knowledge I really suck at school and prefer to learn on my own (I know this is a total cop out, but its a pretty lie).
To the Uber-Christian, the Married Chick, and the 13th Stepper I'm very sorry for the way our relationships ended, I'm still learning how to beand a graceful finale has still escaped me. I also want to thank you for the individual lessons youve each left me with and I promise to try and do better next time. Finally, I know I'm an addict and alcohol just happens to be the most prevalent because its the easiest to get. I know I'm not following the path of least resistance and going cold turkey on all inebriants, but thats a harder thing to do than I ever thought and I'm now realizing that fact. I am a stoner, card carrying and right now not ashamed of it at all, Ive been prescribed sleep aids, anti-psychotics, and anti-depressants so right now I'm rationalizing my addiction to pot as a form of self medication that I believe is beneficial.
On December 25th of 2004 I was busted for DUI, plead guilty and endured the wraith of the state rehabilitation theory and the religion of Alcoholics Anonymous. Both of which I believe to be a naive and over generalization of who we fuck-ups are. On January 1st of 2005 I had a more severe fuck-up but thanks to loving protective parents and the help of a damn good lawyer I seem to have dodged that bullet legally. But that does not mean I havent been punished. I had a very cushy life before these transgressions, one I didnt respect or appreciate. But like Oxygen, some things you dont miss till theyre gone. I still have an amazing and fortunate existence, but these events have forced me to start growing up.
And thats where I am nowIve cut off all my relationships in an attempt to sterilize my environment so that maybe I can achieve this goal. The other side of this coin is that there is an incredible loneliness brought with this existence and I really want to pursue friendships outside of work now and I think that someone to help me limp through the hard parts would help, but I donno if that kind of strength is something you can ask of another person. I need someone to watch me dig myself out of this hole and rub my shoulders when it gets hard.
So this is like the longest thing Ive written in a minute so I shall now bow out gracefully.
Yours Truly,
Scot
rox:
hbd!
anabel:
happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!
