darkenedskyz

well not much of anything is going on, i am just drained of life, and wishing i will have something worth going on about, i've been really depressed lately, it sucks to not know what you want to do with your life it sucks not having a dream, paul says i don't have to do anything really, because he would support me, but he wants me to finish college, but why whats the point. Right now i don't find much of anything that sparks an interest in me. I think my view of the real world is clouded of that, that i see on the tv, how in a show everyone already has their life together a job, a home, a life, i really crave a life, i want to not want to be home all the time, and i want to be happy and i want to have some goal to seek out, i just don't want to do anything, not even write. i am not sleeping very good, and my family is trying to kill me with fast food, paul and i were going to spaggittie at home, because we didn't have dough to go out, and my dad was going to give us money, but didn't have any, so we were going to attempt to make our dinner when i was doing something in my room and paul was preparing, i saw donna coming in and out of the room, muttering bitch talk to my dad and she come out again and a few moment later paul comes in and shows that she gave him money, now tell me that isn't fucked up, so me and paul are going to try something, we are going to try to hang out at his place more, that means i won't be online that much, it's getting really tiring putting up with all this bullshit, they want me to lose weight, but they don't care as long as i don't come out of my room huh? well i have to run , i wish i could run away, Janina open your arms I am running in i wish it wasn't like that. I wish i had a family who cared, or a dad who had a spline, or his wife wasn't a total bitch, ok ok ok i need to stop starting to make myself even more depressed, lates