Not much happening here, i got a new loft bed so i have more room in my bedroom. I am working alot more, making the big buck yeah right, trying to save money before i move. tommorows my day off i am going to go by my moms ticket for the rave happening in 18 days. i still have some stuff to buy for my outfit, i want to by the full season of Rosanne. I am listening to the Donna's, they are going to play at the rave, and i have no fucking clue why, because it's a Rave but whatever they are slightly ok. ewww. I am very scared to move away, and starte living on my own. And Now Paul Can't move with me , because his mom won't help him with school and stuff, so i would be on my own..(shivers) it's very scary. I mean when if i can't afford it, will i be able to work alot and go to school, to afford living there, because by myself it will be very hard to pay what she wants, i would like to talk to her about it but i haven't seen her in a while. i wish i was rich like my problem child friend, sometimes i want to ask her if she would be nice enough to give me a suit case full of money. I don't know i think going to stop talking to the girl , shes a bit on the spaz side. I want to move so bad , i wish it was simpler than this. Paul is sad because he says i want see him as much, and he think that i am going to drift away, but i love him , when he is not around i think about him and i scream I LOVE PAUL when i think of something cute that he had done and that like every minute. I have a problem then , will i be able to go away and not be able to see my love as much as i do . On one part of of the scale is Paul and the times where every day i see him and he is there for me giving me rides, and being there on my sad times to comfort me, and telling me I am beautiful when i feel so ugly. then on the other sid there is freedom from the hell hole of this house and the monster that lives here, and a dad who doesn't even hug me and say hi, a place that is beautiful and near the beach. i would have to learn to drive and get my lisence, get a good job that pays good, go to school and juggle all that, place going back down here to see my Boyfriend Paul, my sister and mom. maybe my dad and satan i mean his wife. well by now i am in tears and i am going to curl up in my loft bed and think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think sleep.
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