darke

First you have to lay a claim to your favourite chair. Don't let those young whippersnappers beat you to it.

Then you have to get yourself a nice pair of comfortable slippers.

Next you have to start rephrasing things in a manner more appropriate to one so advanced in years. For example, next time someone asks you what you did on the weekend, try taking your current response, "I went out on the town on a pub crawl with my mates, got pissed up, pulled this really hot goth babe and had a fucking wicked time" try rephrasing it as, "On Friday I had a nice quiet evening in watching Miss Marple, on Saturday I did my grocery shopping and my laundry and on Sunday I mowed the lawn and washed the car". Also, try using words like "whippersnapper" a lot and prefacing your statements with such choice phrases as, "When I was your age...".

Now all you need to do is start worrying about the ever increasing cost of living and whether your pension fund is going to get you through your old age and then you will have made a successful transition from your twenties to your thirties.

Well done and welcome to the club!!

Heh heh!