I'm stuck in a self-destructive spiral. I look up and see nothing but a long tunnel; I look around and see nothing but dirt. I've tried so many times to crawl out; I've made it pretty far a time or two. But I always fall back down. I get no pleasure or satisfaction from anything but her... and she is killing me. She is the only spot of light is this dark chamber, and try as I might, I cannot escape her.
She would as soon see me dead. Every sweet kiss, every passionate gulp... she drags me ever closer to a ghastly guillotine. I want so badly to escape her; I dream of my freedom. I dream of dancing alone in the sun, far from her touch. But she is my sun... I cannot escape her no matter what. I think of crying out for help, but hear only the cold, dispassionate voices of the family and friends I've shut out for so long, speaking the same reason I hear in my own mind. They cannot comprehend the dark sway she has over my heart. She is my treasured demon; simultaneously my tormenting captor and comforting lover. Nobody knows this darkness; nobody can possibly know this darkness but me. I've lived my entire life here; I'm afraid I'll die here as well.
